To be Silent
by Vamprixxle
Summary: Typical Asgardian torture consists of beatings, solitary confinement- torture. But that was too nice for Loki to have. Instead of dealing with it themselves- they send their son to Thanos for punishment. Now with Thor as the new king, and the Avengers in Asgard- Loki's return home will not run smoothly- and a dark intimacy sprouts between him- and the least suspected hero, Barton.
1. The new King

**ooooo! Avengers Fan-fic! Post-Avengers. **

**Rated M for upcoming chapters. I hope you all like it! **

* * *

Mortals had not been allowed on such sacred and noble ground since as long as Asgard to remember. The request of Earth's mightiest heroes to Thor's coronation even surprised the most reckless of youth and elders. It was a taboo display of his new power- but because of the reputation the famous 5 had displayed, no one really objected to it. Only a few elders scoffed at the idea. No attempt to take it down, though. As if the decorations weren't enough- more were put out in order to impress the mortals. As if they weren't already gaping with drooling mouths over the new world.

However they were kept in the castle privately. Only few got to see the famous warriors. Public displays of them were prayed for, but none yet.

Tony and Clint were proceeding to get drunk with Asgard's finest Peach wine, and Natasha already made friends with Lady Sif. Steve was watching the galaxies above with Bruce, occasionally joining the notorious Tony Stark and little Hawk. Bruce paid no mind to such actions though. He was having his own celebration in the royal library and star room.

Thor was anywhere and everywhere, already giving great speaches to what he promised and hoped for the new age of Asgard and gods. He had matured greatly in these past years. Odin and Frigga watched on privately in the highest point of the castle, staring down at their golden boy with pride.

Asgard was booming with excitement as the celebrations continued. No one every stopped squealing, or gossiping, getting drunk, having love, or dancing beyond the stars. That seemed almost forbidden amongst the Kingdom. They had Odin as king for almost an eternity, and a great king he was, but now a change was coming. A change that everyone hoped would be for the better. Even the galaxies and moons above had a more rainbowish glow to them.

All was well with the worlds, right?

* * *

"My friends!" Thor boomed into the main corridors, where all his closest friends of both Asgard and Misgard gathered at his request. He was done with his duties as a King today. He wished to have a wonderful feast with them.

All looked toward their new king of the galaxy and more, smiling. Lady Sif and Natasha were enjoying some exotic tea from the gardens, dressed up in Asgardian gowns. Thor paid great attention to both females. He had been truly scared of them both up until now. Because now they looked like true ladies, queens almost. He'd never thought he'd see the day when Sif would wear something almost pink.

The men were thrown up, his mortal friends coming close first.

"Excellent speech my good man!" Tony blurted out, trying to sound alittle too royal, his rain of drunk not even being close to finished. Clinton followed behind closely, nodding in agreement with a blurred look in his eyes. Thor laughed at the two incoherent men and nodded them off. Steve was next to approach, his outfit more form fitting then anyone elses.

"I'd never thought this was all even imaginable. But apparently it's true. Congradulations." He shook the Kings hand, giving that oh-so adoring smile.

"Thankyou, Thankyou."

Bruce just simply gave a smile. What was said was enough.

His Asgard warriors came, almost tackling him to the ground. It was then clear that they were drinking it up as well.

Sif whispered to her knew company, "I think they will all but pass out before Thor presents the feast."

Natasha smiled in agreement.

* * *

True to her words, Sif was right. The two mortals had thrown up enough to cause the servants to dread their clean up. They passed out soon after that.

Thor made great apologies for his human friends, saying that it wouldn't happen again. Indeed, his was alittle upset on their behalf. One does not come to a party to get drunk and spill over the royal floor. Though Mortals handled their liquor much different then he and his friends. So his grudge quickly disappeared as the Infamous Tony Stark and great assassin were carried away to the nearest guest room.

The feast went on as planned. Natasha gasped with Steve as it was presented before them. They didn't even recognize half the foods there… but it all smelled so good. Bruce sniffed the air in silenced and gave a cheerful smile. Hogun came by the scientist,

"Do you have these kinds of displays on your nation?"

"Not in the slightest… I think only the richest of rich do such a thing."

"Well I hope you enjoy."

It was clear a friendship was keening between the two as well.

Fandral and Voltsagg led Steve and Bruce to sit with them. The ladies following after, and then Thor. He hoped that his father and mother would join him. But he was sure that they were enjoying their retirement. He was also sure that if Frigga came down, she would already begin to talk about grandchildren. He blushed at the thought.

The feast began with a toast to Thor. By the days end, his ego would be over a million.

* * *

Odin and Frigga did not come down as expected. Both enjoying eachothers silent company. No rules to deal with, no elders to please, no nothing. Peace. Peace beyond their recognition. They even made little talk. Much would think that both the couple would be…. Loving, right now. Uniting in a physical act along with giggled and diluted wine.

But both just sat on the balcony, gazing at their kingdom. Which now belonged to Thor.

But one thought didn't escape their minds. It would never.

Loki… their youngest, still living out his punishment in the mountains. Still alone and without a loving touch. Still probably spitting his lies and mischief. Still denying the truth that Odin was his father, and Frigga adored him still.

The Allmothers hand grasped tightly to Odin's, signaling her thoughts. The Allfather grasped back.

"It is coming to that day…" He whispered.

"I know." She whispered back.

Infact, that day was tomorrow. Tomorrow evening, when the sun is at it's middle glow. Prince Loki, God of Lies and Mischeif, would return. However the parents did not tell Thor. Not yet. They wanted to evaluate their son together before anyone else.

"How do you think he'll be?" Frigga turned her gaze from the skies to her lover.

"….I'm not sure." Odin didn't look at her.

Silence fell upon them. Each knew that sleep was not an option tonight.

"You… You did not lie to me, when you said you had no thoughts of what was held for him… up there.. right?"

Odin nodded.

"Please, Look at me.." The queen begged, obvious pain now in her voice.

Odin looked. His eyes were true. Yes. He did not know what was carried out on the mountain prison. He did not know the tortures and taboo things that went on there. Even if he was the king.

"I do not know. Only Thanos knows... and I complied to his request." His voice got horribly silent. He was not proud of that fact. Sending his sons to the technical mercy of the Chit's.

It pained him so.


	2. The coming Prince

**Thankyou so much for favoriting already guys! I'm so glad you all like it u I hope to continue to please you.**

**I don't want this just to be another Loki punishment fic. So encouragement and suggestions are always welcome! Love you all so much! I apologize if you caught any grammar errors. I'm bad at such things...''**

**Hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

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That night, a thick fog set over the hills of Asgard. Such gloomy weather was not common. It stirred the farmers and peasants alittle. However, one could not wish for perfect weather all the time. They figured that if anything, the dewy wetness created by the fog would help their plants and grains. Some children crept out of their beds to sneek and play out, only to be called by furious parents back inside. It was late. But the kids ever protested, seeming to see something that their elders could not.

A black, armed carriage. All the youngin's were raving about it. How it was traveling towards the kingdom. The parents and old's scoffed, refusing to believe such nonsense. Thinking that the kids were just playing old tricks again, they forced each and every one of them back inside, threatening more chores if they did not shut their mouths.

But indeed. What the children saw was as real as Odin and Asgard. It was charmed so no real threat (adults) could see it. Such protection was only used on the most secrets of secrets.

Loki was on his way back. Slowly. Being chained into the carriage for the whole, long, tedious way.

* * *

Tony and Clint awoke first to awful hangovers. And already being use to pamper and servants, they called for them. Asking for painkillers and water… something to eat. Anything.

The morning maids brought them what they wanted, sighing as Tony made witty comments about how their outfits didn't flatter their beautiful figures. They were already warned of the Playboy's tactics, and paid him no mind. Clinton apologized to them on Tony's behalf.

Breakfast was set before them in very dim lighting.

"Thankyou Thankyou." Clint mumbled, drinking his charmed water. The maids said the painkillers would take effect once the glass was finished.

The breakfast seemed to be mostly omelet looking dishes and pastries filled with fresh jelly. Better than any toaster strudel or burnt toast that Tony made.

"What are in these?" The archer asked, picking at a piece of his egg looking dish.

"They're common breakfast."

"No I mean.. what is in them?"

"Fresh hard shell eggs of the swans and vegetables from our finest fields."

So basically, an omelet. But with Swan eggs.

"It's very good."

The maids smiled and asked if anything else was needed- but before the two could answer, a larger, more important looking castle tender barged in, grabbing the young maids hands and apologizing to the masters for this. But it needed to be done.

Tony tilted his booming head and grunted, "Weird."

"Yeah…" Clint agreed, munching on his apple pie flavored muffin thing.

"I'll try with them again later," Tony sang, drinking his water.

Clinton rolled his eyes as their normal little hangover morning continued.

* * *

The maidens outside in the hallway were sent home along with other confused servents. It seemed something big was coming? Or going…? Even when they started to talk about it outside of the castle, The guards hushed them. Threatening if they did not leave swiftly that they'd burn their homes in the hills and cities.

What had brought such a huff in the castle?

Only the two top guards, Maid, and Healers knew. So only they were allowed to stay.

Frigga and Odin came out and about during the sunset, being greeted by each and every one of them.

Loki was arriving earlier then expected. Frigga cursed under her normal put together self. Franticly making her air into braids and curls as they usually were. She had everything planned perfectly. She'd tell Thor to take his friends to the stables and ride in the forests and parks they had to offer. Thor would agree and take them at once breakfast and morning leisure was over. They'd be out all day, leaving the two parents to deal with what was coming.

But Loki was arriving _NOW_… Now… in the morning. The sun was not even fully up.

Odin tried to calm his wife, "Please, Frigga, do not look so flustered. Your hair is fine.. please, Look at me."

Frigga looked, some tears wanting to already get out. They hadn't even seen Loki yet and the fragile All Mother was wheeping.

"My wife…"

"I am afraid."

"I know."

They stopped in the middle of the hallway, requesting a moment of privacy from the chosen few who were to stay. To help…

Once alone, Frigga broke down in tears while Odin hushed her. Today was going to be a long day…

Once the All Mother's cries were silent, he called for a main guard, declaring that Thor be awakened along with the others. To be taken to the parks and given a tour.

Now.

The guard bowed and passed along the news. A great regret already hit the castle when they realized all the servents and maidens were gone. This command would take a while to do.

The chief Maid took the task in stride, going to each door of the castle to awake the warriors and friends of Thor. Announcing they had a special treat for all of them. Yes, she got a few swears from a tired bunch, but it was handled. She wasn't the chief Maiden for nothing.

Soon- everyone was eating a jelly filled pastry as they left the castle. All dressed into casual clothes (or what was considered casual by Asgard's satndards.) and led to the stables at once. Thor was of course leading them. Talking about how he used to sneak out and ride all day when given the chance during his youth.

None found it as amusing as they would when fully awake though.

* * *

Frigga and Odin waited within the private gardens. Only few knew these bushes of flowers and herbs existence. A perfect place to reunite themselves with their son.

In the distance you could see the carriage emerging from its spell. Brown plain horses carrying the prince back to Asgard. Though this wasn't a traditional escort. There were no windows, no indication of mercy towards the arriving son of Odin. He was hidden- trapped in a black box. No doubtly chained and gagged as he was when taken to the mountains in the first place.

Frigga and Odin both held their breath as the carriage came to a holt.

* * *

**LOL CLIFFHANGER.**

**I do promise that we'll see our beloved in the next chapter though.**


	3. Horrible

**aha i couldn't leave you all like that. So I devised this sad little chapter as quick as i could.**

* * *

Both parents held their troubled breath as the door opened up, first stepping out was a Chitauri soilder, dressed not the usual embellishment for war, but rather casual. Stone and granite looking armor, battle scars covering the rest of his body.

Odin scowled at the grotesque looking man and instantly wondered if he was Loki's torturer, or a mere officer given the task of bringing back the prince. Frigga tightened her hand to Odin's. It was rare when the King and Queen were in such noticeable distress, since the Chit made a comment,

"Do not trouble yourselves so, dears." He mocked.

Odin wished he was king at that very moment. He would've had the power to beat him to a pulp or execute him on the spot. Such was common when a dire enemy came to Asgard. The Chitauri were considered more savage the ones from Jotunheim.

They waited in which seemed like forever when another solider/dark figure crept out. Odin instantly recognized the man. He was the one who took Loki on that day. A dark, horrible sick looking man. One obviously belonging to the mountains. He resembled a herder of mountain sheep and rams, carrying a long battered looking black stick. Though Odin knew better. He was a dark magic user. One who did not herd little lambs, but rather tend to the insane up in the mountains.

Frigga couldn't help but not stare at the man. He looked so sick. But Odin had always warned her that the most harmless and innocent looking of men could break down a kingdom.

He approached,

"My Retires," He grinned, showing off his ugly rotten teeth and un-groomed beard, "You'll find that your son will be much more manageable and behaved now. Just as you wanted, yes?"

The words cut deep.

"Do not look so sad." He teased, wobbling over to the carriage and standing infront of the opened door, waving his hand as a 'come' signal.

The two held their breath again, especially when the foot soldier snickered.

And out came their son. Lightly blindfolded (it was obvious he could still see, seeing how he obeyed the man's direction for him to enter) and heavily gagged, a large steel ball in his mouth, causing drool to run down freely. He wore tattered and stained clothes. Barefoot with cuts and blisters on his feet and ankles. Frigga held in a sob. Her son looked awful… He looked sick. Even more pale then he was when healthy. His hands were _trembling_…

Odin stepped forward, causing Loki to step back and behind the dark shepherd with swift notice. His head down and lowering more as Odin came closer.

"I demand to know why—"

"He may not look healthy my lord. But be sure once he bathes he will look much better." That awful grin again. "Believe me, we kept him well fed. No starving children of Odin as promised. Much to drink too."

Frigga watched her docile and sickly son, her hands covering her mouth.

"I am also terribly sorry we came early. The horses were trampling faster than expected. But I'm sure mother dearest is happy to have her youngest back, yes?" His 'ss' hissed on the last part.

Frigga closed her eyes tightly and a single tear ran down.

Both attendees grinned and obviously held in a laugh.

"Enjoy your new son." He waved them off, pushing Loki forward to Odin. A muffled cry of pain could be heard beneath the gag. Causing the confused and raged Odin to step back. This did not look like his son. This wasn't what a prince needed—

"Compliments from Thanos. I bid you all a nice day." The dark one and solider both bowed to the once King and Queen, setting a foot in the carriage. The horses muffled and shook their enormous necks, turning around and vanishing in what was left of the fog that followed the hell carrier.

There was a sad silence between the three. Frigga pushed her husband gently aside, tending to her son with haste.

Loki flinched at the un-familiar gentle touch of his mother, but he knew it was her.

"My dear…" she tried to keep it all in for Loki's sake, taking off his blindfold to reveal very dark eyes. His eyes use to be a wonderful emerald, now they just looked… like a merky swamp. Dark circles also plagued his face. The man obviously had no good nights back in the mountains of Asgard…

Loki looked up to her like a scared rat. Jerking his head up and down in quick and a twitchy motion, which caused his oily and thin hair to fall in his face.

"Loki…" she sighed, holding in a whimper herself. She proceeded behind him, untying the horrible dirty looking gag in his mouth. It fell to the ground instantly and he licked his chapped lips. He dared not look at his father.

As Frigga's gentle and all-caring hand swept through his hair to comfort her son, a shaven patch was exposed. She tilted her head and then gasped, causing Loki to jerk away and replace his long locks over the stitches.

"What is it?" Odin asked, coming close.

"His head!"

Loki shook his head, fidgeting with his hands and looking down to the ground. His foot un-settling and wavy.

"What- what about it?"

"Something… his…" Frigga couldn't help but grab Loki's arm and pull him forth, ignoring his pained whimpers and protest grunts. His hands went upward, trying to move and make Frigga's grasp go away. He was so weak. And… there was something autistic about his jerky and wavy movements.

Once Odin saw, the retired king shook his head and began to sob.

It seemed that they had taken something out of his brain… They had cut open his son's head and taken something out. They had violated his son's innards…

* * *

**tell me what ya think! It seems something very cruel has befallen Loki :( if you all are familiar with Frontal lobe or brain extraction, then you'll know it's a horrible thing to do to a person.**

**For all that don't really know, it's when surgery is done to the brain. Usually the frontal lobe (one of them) is taken out. And when the person awakes he/she is very vegetable like. if you saw planet of the apes (old one) you'd see the scene where his friend had part of his brain taken out to make him more docile and easy to command.**

**Here- Loki isn't ****_that_**** extreme. He still has control... i think. Weather they didn't take out a severe portion or his magic is slowly healing him inside- we'll see!**

**HOW DO YOU FEEL, ODIN. HOW DO YOU FEEL.**


	4. The unexpected help

**woop. Here you are- **

**Lets see if I can keep this fast pace streak of updates up.**

* * *

_"No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"_

"They go to hell," I was my ready and orthodox answer.

"And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"

"A pit full of fire."

"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there forever?"

"No, sir."

"What must you do to avoid it?"

I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die." 

_-Jane Eyre_

* * *

Loki was taken as fast as he came. Odin had nearly fainted and was looking more weak with each step. Frigga had to stop multiple times with Loki to check on her husband who was lagging behind dramatically. Though the Queen couldn't really feel totally sorry for him right now.

She couldn't feel sorry for herself either. No. There wasn't a time for them to weep over the past now… that could easily be done later. Right now she, most of all, had to be strong for her son. She needed to show him love.

The love and comfort that he lived without through all these years…

However their son didn't seem to corporate. Every time Frigga tried to touch him, to hold him, to gain some respect again- he would move away and whine. And sometimes he would look at them like he didn't know either. Like he had no memory..

"My son..." she begged as Loki pushed her away and twitched, making keening sounds and whimpers. "My son please- listen to me! It's alright!"

At the raise of her voice Loki leaned over a bit, clutching his stomach area and twisting the fabric in his hands. Quieting his whimpers as her voice got alittle more strained; he crouched all the way down, his head lowered.

Frigga stopped her words and Odin came from behind…

"Is he kneeling?"

* * *

_The cell was so cold. Probably because it was made from weak hill wood- always being drenched in freezing snow. Only for it to seep inside and drip onto the dark prince._

_He was left alone time and time again, barely given fire to keep himself warm. A loaf of bread once a week to keep him slightly full. Though he saw no other contact. No other beings. He only heard gruff voices outside of his cell- ordering other prisoners to hurry... or they were mocking him._

_Teasing- saying he was nothing to anyone. That in the end he'd die in this cell and his parents wouldn't even come for his corpse. They wouldn't want to bury a Jotun. They wouldn't dare take his ashes to the royal archives- even..._

_Loki rarely had these words get to him. He rarely gave the guards what they wanted. Only once did he break down infront of them all… only once did he let tears spill over. He cried like a babe. Though that was when he first got here. He basicly just threw a tantrum._

_The guards them beat him so bad after that, he vowed never to cry again. He'd now knew what would come if he showed any weakness._

_So as the time passed in his dreary and cold cell- he found that his skin was turning blue. That he was reverting to his natural state of being a Jotun._

_He eventually stopped looking at his hands and feet. Curling himself up and staring at the ceiling. He refused to look at his monster self. Even if it was keeping him from getting sick from the cold weather. It was his body trying to keep itself alive and well._

_The fire was no use anymore._

_6 weeks of solitude, looking at the ceiling. Finding bugs and sometimes eating them. Facing the guards mockery outside but never seeing them. And still Loki kept his sanity. He wouldn't break so easily like everyone thought—_

_One day while dozing off- finally some contact from another living being came._

_Two Chit guards dragged him up and smacked him awake, forcing the struggling prince down on his knees as they injected his neck with something sharp. He felt a thick liquid go into his veins- causing his body to shake and his stomach to empty whatever it had. The two smirked at the gods weakness and brought him to his feet, dragging the semi-conscious god out and taking a left in a dim hallway._

_Warmth hit his skin once he entered a lemon scented room. He was put on a plastic feeling bed, instantly bound with chains. He felt his mind slipping away before him—he felt dreams coming along. But the god wanted to stay awake as long as possible- he needed to see if this was the end or not._

_With blurred vision he saw different looking men in dark grey coats.. all uniformed except for one who was in a darker shade. He held something sharp- and a bright light suddenly shown upon his eyes._

_"Compliments from Thanos." _

_Was the last thing his scheming dark mind heard._

* * *

As Frigga tried more and more to calm her son, with Odin's encouragement and soft words- in Loki's mind it seemed that they were ganging up on him.

He made grunts and finally cried, sobbing and curling against the wall, batting his hands weakly at them as he tried to hide his face. They were scary… they were loud- and everything was bright and loud- his head hurt! His eyes were leaking again—it hurt…. they were scary! THEY WERE SCARING HIM.

Suddenly Loki grabbed his mother's arm, gripping her tight and pushing her away with all his might. A wild look in his eye before and after.

The Allmother fell on her back, gasping as she hit the ground and saw her sons expression. Odin rushed to her side. Both looking at their son now like he was a wild beast.

Loki went back to his wall, cowering again.

Their gazes… their looks… he twitched with spazzes and jotted out his leg. Seeming to have trouble with his motions. He dared not look at them, he only listened to muffled sobs coming from Frigga into her husbands chest.

…. He was so scared…

Suddenly a soft voice came from the side of his gaze. Not loud. Not threatening- not hurt….

He looked to it along with Frigga and Odin.

"My lords…" came it again, "That is… your scaring him-"

Frigga shouted back, "Thankyou for your input-"

Odin hushed his upset wife, wanting to hear what this man with glasses had to say. He recognized him as one of… Thor's friends? Or one of the warriors companions? He couldn't remember.

But anyway he stepped closer to the retired King and Queen, crouching down with them and watching Loki look away.

"You-"

"Bruce Banner." He introduced himself quickly, averting his rude stare from Loki to the puzzled and flustered queen.

Loki continued to hear the new person talk with his parents… now rocking himself as his vision became suddenly blurry. This happened when he had headache's (which were very frequent).

He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he stiffened up, his breathe holting. There was a 'shhshhh' come from behind, which oddly relaxed him. Though he refused to look.

Banner egged him own, gently tugging at Loki's loose fitting clothes. The god made whimpers of protest but finally moved, also coaxed by sweet nothings in which he didn't understand…

Banner had gotten him standing and following with a quick pace. Frigga and Odin led the mortal and their son to the Allmothers own room, stepping all inside.

The retired royals wished for this mortal not to see their private rooms and high balchony… infact they passed many secrets when finally getting to the location. But what the mortal didn't know wouldn't hurt him in the end.

He was their only hope with their son it seemed.

"Should I leave you?" The man said, adjusting his glasses awkwardly. The silence and stupor in the room was killing him. He got on awhile ago that he shouldn't be up here in the first place.

"Why are you not with Thor and others?" Odin asked softly, watching his wife take the new calm and docile lamb into the bathroom to probably bathe.

"I do not like outings like that… I like the calm. So I sneaked away and took a walk. Came inside again and enjoyed your library- even though half the languages I couldn't read. Heard yelling… found it weird that there were no maids or anyone around so…" He trailed off. It was obvious that he found them by chance.

"I see."

Another wave of silence until bath water came from the bathroom.

"So.."

"Yes please, go… and-" Odin looked up, "Thankyou. And please-"

"I wouldn't tell a soul."

So, Bruce knew that It _was_ Loki.

With that, the mortal left with a quick step. Odin prayed to the kings of the past and gods that Banner would keep true to his word.

* * *

**Tell me what you please and think! I had some fun writing this chapter**

**:( Poor Loki. **


	5. Memories of punishment

**hello everyone! I'm not breaking this fast streak yet! ;3;**

**another chaptah for yall. Thankyou so much for all the comments and support! I hope to continue this story for a long time. We have a long way to go.**

**More sad Loki in this chapter :( WARNING for rape . **

* * *

_The next time Loki awoke he couldn't move his lower body. He occasionally twitched and blinked. Whimpers escaped from him due to confusion and the slight frustration of not being able to move. The ceiling was the only memory he had. The only thought he reconized. However this wasn't his past cell. No stone walls or humid mornings, no cold drips from the ceiling or walls. He didn't even feel… cold. _

_The prince was wrapped in warmer clothes, given a wash. Infact- they made him look beautiful. Even putting little pearl pins in his hair, adding blush to his face to give his pale blue marked skin color. Wiping drool and tears from his face. Changing his loin cloth when he wet or had an accident on himself. They were pampering him. But for what? What was all this adding up to in the end? 4 days of this had gone and no one but maids were showing up. Where they even maids…?_

_Everything was so blurry… so confusing.. and he was constantly tired all the time._

_But one day he was lifted up from his point blank position, carried and helped to another room. This one smelling of roses and sweet fruits. It made his nose burn a bit because it was so strong._

_He whimpered and protested as much as he could, clenching his now moveable hands into weak fists._

_Murmurs and hushing came to his ear as old, weak, sick looking witches put him on a bed. Bending his knees up and pulling off some of his pants. Loki just watched with half lided eyes the best he could. And suddenly everything was quiet again. Lights dimming around him._

_The door opened- and a gruff voice came. Provided with a tall, dark looking figure. Shiney golden armor covered his upper body. Like he was prepared for any type of battle. Any war. Every war._

_Loki whimpered as the figure got closer… and closer.. closer…_

_He didn't like this. He was shaking, his little pale hands clutching the sheets as the rough man got ontop, saying un-godly and loud things above the liesmith. Loki whimpered more and more as he got louder- almost to a yelling pitch until something hard came across the sobbing gods face. He immediately stopped- dazed and dizzy by the hit across his cheek._

_He almost fell faint when another, lighter, slap hit his other cheek. His eyes awoke and stared up, trying to focus. No such luck. He could hear a cackle._

_"Oh- little prince! If only your father could see your pathetic state now. He better appreciate what I've done for him. Now you won't cause anyone anymore trouble. Just what the doctor ordered, eh?"_

_Loki felt more pressure on his fragile soft body. The hands that hurt him now gripping tight around his waist then hips. The grip got so tight it left a bruise- he could feel the mans nails digging into his skin. He gave out a cry only to be hit._

_H-He was scared- terrified now-_

_The man began to yell again, causing Loki to cry out. Not making a word or sentence requesting help- but feral sounds. Kneeing and hissing and sobs. The same as a toddler would do if in discomfort._

_"SHUT UP you little runt! Do not resist your now master!—I said QUIET."_

_He was only beaten more, this time being hit on the side of his stitched up head—_

_"Quiet."_

_He fell unconscious._

_…..'quiet'…_

_Silence._

_This process repeated twice a night, every day for the next week by Thanos and other Chitauri. _

* * *

Dr. Banner seemed to keep true to his promise. He told no one and nothing. And replied swiftly when called up to help with Loki. He'd always excuse himself from whatever he was doing with friends or Thor politely and quietly. Moving swiftly with a personal server up to where Loki was being hidden.

It was clear that Frigga and Odin were clueless on how to handle their 'new' son. Banner had to ask one day if Autism or such things even existed on Asgard. Their puzzled and shocked looks gave a clear answer.

"Children of Asgard are always born perfect or better. Such illnesses are…. So rare." Odin began, feeling stupid and un-educated around .

"I understand…" Bruce sighed as he hushed a frazzled Loki. Apparently when Frigga tried to talk to him he completely exploded. Tearing down shelves of breakable things and books- breaking everything ina confused and sad fit. "Loki, Loki it's alright. Shh. What's wrong?" Bruce stroked some of the god's raven hair back, "Are you tired? Hungry? Head hurts?"

Of course the trickster couldn't answer. He hadn't uttered a single word since brought here. Bruce had come to the conclusion that he simply couldn't because of his head trauma.

Loki shook his head at the words, his body rocking itself again.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" Bruce waited for what seemed like a long 15 minutes- but then came Loki's reluctant nod.

"Yeah?" He rubbed the gods back.

Another nod.

This was good. This was very good- it meant somehow his head was healing. Because 2 days ago the god wouldn't respond or act to anyone other than himself.

Loki leaned into Banner's touch, looking at his neck. This was some sort of equal to looking at someone in the face. This meant Loki was listening.

Frigga gave a relieved sigh. But couldn't really hide her jealousy towards this mortal. What was she doing wrong? She was giving Loki as much comfort as she could. Odin had already accused her from spoiling the boy too much. A big fight happened after that.

"What do you need?" The doctor asked, suddenly seeing Loki's hand reaching towards Banner's face- seeming intrigued by his glasses.

"ah…" He made a noise. Clearly wanting them.

"N-no… no." Bruce patted the hand away only to get a high pitched whine.

"If I lose these then I can't see." He said, watching Loki loose intrest in him suddenly and looking over to his father. His rocking started again.

…

He curled in on himself, moving towards his mother now. Odin made a sad frown and announced that he would visit Thor.

* * *

Bruce was beginning to form a theory around everything. But he wouldn't speak it yet. Instead he suggested to the once-queen that maybe Loki was getting bored of being cooped up in the tower all day and all night. Not even having a room of his known. Frigga silently nodded and held her clinging child; both watching Bruce leave through the door to go back to his friends. Tony always bothering him where he went and if he found a cute little maid girlfriend. Bruce always blushed and dismissed such allegations.

Tony's curiosity was peaking along with the others though.

Where _was _the green doctor going all these days?

* * *

**so sad! but so fun to write...**

**I'm a horrible person I know.**

**So it appears that Loki has taken a liking to Bruce. Romance happening for future?**

**The slash/couple for this story has yet to be decided. I want some follower input on it :) who should the little broken prince end up with? Don't worry- I do have ideas for each. Some sad and some good. But I want feedback and ideas!**


	6. The followers

**Heyyy! sorry for this delay- :V here you go.**

* * *

The queen had not listened to Bruce's suggestions- which caused more uncomforted and an upset Loki- which caused Frigga to be upset- which caused Odin to be upset—and somehow the babysitting job would always end up on Bruce. Though atleast the parents had enough sense to not keep the doctor incharge of their son for more than an hour or two. He wanted to use up the precious time he had on Asgard- that time was running out. Mortals couldn't stay on the land of immortals forever. It was a unrealistic dream. And to be stuck with a half brain psychotic villain was one thing… but now to be plagued with it? The doctor was starting to get annoyed.

And everyone knew he had such little patience on things.

One day, it was obvious that the king and queen were out on a day for themselves. Perhaps a date- which seemed like a good idea. Bruce heard the top maids of the tower gossiping how they were having fights so much. Bruce couldn't really feel bad for them, though. This was kinda all their fault (He realized this a long time ago when Thor came to invite them all- and told the whole sob story of his brother. Yeah- it all seemed to make sense. Even Tony agreed that it was gonna drop on them in a sour way.)

Bruce was almost finished with a book. During this past week he had been given the privilege to visit the retired couple as much as he pleased, along with Loki. The old ones seemed fond of him most. He was calm and intelligent, humble. Nothing like their son and his friends- or Tony or Clint. Natasha was assumed a greater stinge then Sif- and Steve was too proper for them. Too shy.

He enjoyed his conversations with Odin. He couldn't lie that they were almost good allies now. But then again- they were using him for a hard task. Two sides to every story, eh?

Bruce adjusted his glasses as he made his way to the tower, nodding to the maids and servants that now recognized him well.

Little did he know he had a little groupie following him…..

* * *

Loki was sitting in his own little room, right next to Frigga's of course, just tracing patterns in the carpet. What, did the royal couple just walk up and leave? Not even giving Loki food or water or something of entertainment?

The god's green eyes lifted and he have a happy sounding squeak as he recognized Bruce. Dr. Banner smiled and made his way to the eager seeming Loki. It really had appeared that the couple did just get up and leave.

"Come." He motioned with his hand, but Loki didn't move. He usually responded to this motion quick.

"Come." Bruce tried again, crouching alittle. Maybe the god was intimidated by how tall Bruce was standing?

Loki shook his head and looked down to the rug, scratching out whatever pattern he made in a fit. Something was wrong… but what? Loki had been eating fine and drinking and regularly bathing.

"What is it?" Bruce asked, taking his seat infront of the god.

Loki shyed away from the man, glancing up and down in a swift motion.

"What is it?" Bruce coaxed the god more, nudging him only to get a high pitched whine. Now Loki was moving to the wall. … What had he to be afraid of? Was there something behind him-

"Bruce. What the hell is this." Tony's voice came.

Bruce jumped up and turned around. Having a horror facial expression doused in disbelief.

"Tony-?"

"That's my name." The engineer crossed his arms. Another figure came behind him- Clint. Then Natasha.

Wonderful.

Loki in the meantime was whining loudly, creeping to the nearest corner.

"Tony. You can't be up here-"

"Who says?" asked a agrivated Clint.

"The former King and Queen actually. How did you all even get up here- all the servents?"

"I'm just that charming, dear." Tony rolled his eyes and approached the god, but Bruce blocked him.

"Please leave."

"No."

"Tony, I'm asking as a friend. Please- you can't be up here."

"How long have you been hiding him?" Clint stepped closer as well.

"I haven't been hiding him. The royals—"

"Have hired you as a babysitter? Is this really where you've been?"

Bruce could only nod then plead more, "They'll be angry when they come back and see you all here."

Natasha approached now as well.

Loki felt being ganged up on, he gave a wince as Tony crouched to the god and gave him a glare. Yeah, Tony held grudges. And Clinton obviously would never forgive Loki for mind-controlling him. Natasha seemed just her quiet self as usual.

"Please. He's not the Loki we all knew."

"Obviously." This time Natasha spoke.

Loki looked to each of them, then to the ground, kicking out his leg at Stark in a confused fit. Tony took this as a threat and grabbed the God's ankle, causing a screech and whimper-

Bruce came to his defense. "Stop it. Please. Give him room- he's scared."

Natasha backed up and so did Tony alittle bit. Clinton continued his hovering and glaring at the now crying god.

"What's wrong with him."

"He's sick."

"Please give me a doctor answer."

….

Instead of giving them a vocal answer Banner decided to show them. That seemed to always have an impact.

He approached Loki cautiously, and the god accepted his presence. He seemed to be the only nice one here. … "Can I?" Bruce whispered, brushing Loki's hair like a mother would with his fingers. Coaxing the god to give into his touch.

Tony and Clint made faces of disgust at the sight.

Loki never liked his special little spot being looked at- or touched. But this time he let Bruce stroke back the pieces of hair that covered his stitches, showing off his scar and ragged strings to the threesome.

Tony drew his head back with wide eyes, Clint narrowed his, and Natasha opened her mouth alittle.

Yeah. That got them.

….. A long pass of silence hit everyone. In that time Loki had crawled into Banner's arms and tried to hide himself from everyone. Making mumbling word seeming sounds.

Tony was the first to speak.

"So… His parents did that to him?"

"No. His parents gave him away to the mountains for his punishment, which was carried out by Thanos. So… in a way they did it- but they'd never ordered it."

Bruce began to rock Loki, who was now having a staring contest with Natasha. She spoke all the mean while, "So he is but a child now?"

"Basicly."

"Will he heal?"

"No one is sure. They took away his magic up there- which helps him heal. Though Odin said that Magic cannot be taken away in its full. It will always come back to the holder."

All nodded, trying to understand.

"I'm guessing he doesn't even remember?"

"No. He doesn't."

Loki broke his gaze away from Natasha and now was staring at the rug. Reaching awkwardly over Bruce's shoulder to trace more patterns and designs. He didn't understand everyone's words and sentences... he only cared and noticed now that these weren't really scary people. Just people.

"Thor doesn't know." Tony stated as if a fact. Bruce nodded.

"When will he?" Clinton asked.

"When Frigga thinks it's time."

_Which will probably be never. _Everyone thought.

* * *

**Uh oh! Now people know Loki's here! Clint and Tony don't seem to be too happy. at all.**


	7. kicking and crying won't help you

Loki had taken a great interest in Natasha's red hair. He lightly petted her with gentle, light touches, thinking of her head as something soft and delicate. She agent didn't seem to care, just as long he wasn't taking havoc and ruining things, she accepted the new… 'improved' Loki. The god squeaked and retreated as she turned her head alittle bit... then slowly went back. She had much softer hair then his mother.

Clinton was greatly bothered by the action. It was clear that the two assassin's had a thing going- and to have this snake touching his girl? Big no no. However he knew better to cause a scene. Even if it was just them up in this tower. Hate was seething through his skin for Loki.

"Perhaps we should move somewhere else?" Bruce suggested. A still baffled Tony agreed and stood, along with Natasha. Loki whined greatly at the loss of his new favorite thing.

Clint, while standing, discreetly stepped on Loki's finger, causing the god to moan in pain and well up with tears. Suprisingly no one saw it- Bruce tended to Loki quickly. Quieting him with hushes and telling him that they were going to go out now. But of course Loki was only focused on the pain that just happened to him.

While walking outside and down the hallway, Loki looked at his abuser, only to be given a death glare. The trickster quickly looked into Bruce's shoulder. The man was mean, bad. Inside Loki's broken little mind, he took a good note to stay away from the man.

"Where should we take our grand entrance? If Loki is to stay hidden, then shouldn't we stay up here?" Natasha asked, holding the flustered gods hand. Clinton nearly shrieked at the action. Just because the god was a simple creature now didn't mean that he hadn't committed all the horrors on earth, here, and Jotunheim. The 5 realms hated him for a reason, after all.

"I was thinking to this little watch tower. It's even higher than we are now. So."

"Jesus Christ can this place get any higher?" Tony gaped.

"It's probably the last point of the castle."

"Not fair that the Allfather and mommy get to show you around. If I'd known this was going down? I'd help."

"Yeah." Bruce rolled his eyes.

"How'd you even volunteer for this job?" Clint asked.

"I didn't. I found them.."

"Them?"

"Loki had just got back—was putting up a fuss… his parents were really panicing. I heard- followed the noise, and then found them all."

"Didn't you like- wanna punch him?" You could hear Clint hiss his words.

"No." Ahhh… Bruce lied alittle at that part. Yeah, he felt a grudge gurgle in his throat when he saw Loki. But then the parents explained everything- and pity took over.

"Clint, please." Natasha suggested to him in a whisper, pulling the angry fighter aside to have a talk.

"If you don't want to be here... you can go find Thor or Steve."

Clint didn't even try to be quiet about it.

"That man attacked New York- tried to have genocide on his own kind," He pointed to the moving Loki, "And then swore he'd destroy the dad that raised him!? How can you sit back and let him be comfy with Bruce and—"

"Because that Loki is obviously dead. Clint." She snapped back.

Loki looked over his shoulder only to be pulled by Bruce. Why were they yelling? He made a groan and pulled himself away from his babysitter. He could only take so much man handling.

There was another shot of yelling and Clint was walking down the opposite way- he obviously chose to go to Thor or Steve. He was boiling at this point.

Natasha came over, obviously annoyed now herself.

"I don't want him telling Steve or anyone- Thor mostly." Banner said timidly.

"I don't think he will."

* * *

"He's kinda hot."

"Tony!"

"Look! He almost looks like a woman if you ignore his male features. His hair helps."

Loki looked up shyly at the comment. Bruce and Tony tilted their heads to see if the god actual knew or caught what the statement was about.

The god put his head down again and began to play with the rug under his feet. It was true to word now that he liked soft things.

"You think it's true that he can get preggers?"

"Tony. Please."

"Just opinion man." The playboy shrugged and flinched slightly as the God was suddenly behind him, touching his hair. "This is weird."

Bruce pushed Loki away with one hand and made a stern face. The god understood that meant 'no' and he proceeded to a pillow.

"So what is this place again? And why is there no real roof?"

"I think it's for star gazing."

"Hm."

Natasha was walking around the little observatory. It was very nice and modern looking by human standards. Alittle too 'warm colored' for her taste, though.

"I'm guessing it's more of a stunner when at night?"

"It is."

Tony got up and stretched, looking to Loki then Bruce, "I'm gonna go see Capsicle. I feel bad for leaving him. I promise to keep my mouth shut." Tony crossed his fingers behind his back, grinning innocently. He couldn't hold such a secret out on Steve. The man HAD to see this. But the engineer swore to stay clear of Point Blank.

* * *

Tony confronted an obviously sore Clint on his way down, offering some vine grapes he picked up from a servant. "Hey man. Take it easy okay?"

"How can you just… y'know. Accept it?"

"Well I don't think none of us, 'accept' it. We all have those dark desires to see Loki punished. But it's obvious that he was. And it was cruel."

Clint nodded slowly, taking two grapes and popping them in his mouth.

"All I can tell myself is that if Thor finds out that we- me, you, anyone ever did anything to Loki? Our heads will be displayed for all to see."

Clinton snorted and nodded again, "Yeah Yeah."

"So don't go do anything _too_ stupid."

…. There was a wink at the end of that.

Tony stood, stretching and finishing off his perfect grapes. "Now I'm going to go talk to Steve. See how he's doing. Wanna come?"

"You're going to tell him. Aren't you."

Tony snickered, "You know me too well." He grabbed a glass of un-finished wine for a passing servant, striding towards where he left Blondie. "I wanna see the 'oh so great' Captains face when he finds out what Lobotomy is."

* * *

Loki was playing with marbles when the captain stormed in. He looked furious and scared at the same time. Bruce jumped and cursed under his breath, standing to greet the already walking soldier. He brushed passed Bruce and crouched down to a startled Loki, instantly grabbing the patch of hair and pulling it aside, Loki shrieked and batted at the new man.

Steve pulled away as quick as he came in. Now his face was with disgust and sorrow.

Tony rushed in afterward, "sorry sorry!" He got a glare from the red head and scientist. "I didn't know he'd react so surprised like this."

Bruce rolled his eyes and went down to the god, hushing him. Loki wasn't calming down though.

Steve backed up and moved to the door. It was clear he didn't want any part of this- and he left.

Natasha raised an eyebrow as Clint was the next to enter, and she moved over to Loki. Now everyone was trying to keep the god calm—but they were making it worse.

Loki kicked at them with a frightened rage and screamed at the top of his lungs. Someone would hear—Someone would deffinetly hear if Loki didn't shut up.

"aa-ahhh!ngh!" Loki whimpered and knee'd at the hands who brushed over his skin gently.

_Everyone was ontop of him- everyone. All spilling their filthy seeds onto the wriggling body of the fallen prince. He screamed and bucked- only to be hit and made dizzy. It was horrible- the aftermath of a gangbang. A act done under the secret whispers of the soldiers upon the mountains. Thanos didn't give his approval- and all would be tortured in their own way later. Loki was Thano's pet- pampered and treated well all until he had his way with him. The process would repeat- but this? No. Not allowed. But the soliders obviously executed this plan with precision. Loki was fucked and gagged without mercy- tied then un-tied. Beaten and spanked to the men's delight and hearts content. It was a hell he'd never, ever forget. Even if he had memory lapses and cronic episodes. He'd never forget being ganged up upon like this… never…._

_He sobbed onto the floor. Covered in grime and piss and cum- feeling so filthy._

_The door banged open and the mad titan through some men out the window to their deaths, than yelled for the others to get out. The living ones attempted to flee out of the stone prison and down the cold mountains- but all would fail._

_Loki laid on the cold floor, covering his tear and red struck face, closing his legs up. So confused and hurt. Thanos yelled for him to shut his trap and the god replied with a small whimper before obeying. He recognized his master's voice- and got the jist of his commands._

_He was grabbed by the hair and pushed into the bathroom while the titan called his witch maids to tend to his prize and clean him all up._

_Loki scooted to what was the toilet and threw up acid, forced cum, and water into the hole. _

His flash memory was broken by a gentle touch to his face. So familiar and soothing. He opened his tightly closed eyes to find his mother. His protector... he was safe.

Frigga took him into her arms and cradled him like he was a babe. Holding her tears in for her boy, she sang a lullaby long forgotten. Loki pushed his messy face and head into her chest, quieting completely.

Odin had yelled for the team of mortals to leave.


	8. A plan of learning

**I want to thank all of you for support! I got alot of new followers and I hope you enjoy the story as it continues.**

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you, Tony." Bruce scolded, really fed up with everyone.

Tony shook his head, "I didn't know Steve would react in such a way—"

"Why did you tell him? Hm? What if he tells Thor!"

"I-"

"You thought it would be funny. Joke. Good ol' Tony Stark wants to get a laugh out of everything, right?" Bruce's voice raised dangerously there.

Natasha put a hand on his shoulder, warning him. Bruce looked at her, giving a short glare before a sad look... he knew the danger of getting angry. He stepped back, embarrassed and adjusting his glasses. Natasha would take over the scolding from here.

Though Tony looked like he was scolded enough.

Natasha sat infront of the engineer. "Why'd you tell Steven?"

"Because I wanted to see his reaction."

"Because you thought it was funny?"

"Not the whole thing but-"

"Because you thought it was funny."

A long silence. Clint had moved to a grand window and was leaning against the balcony.

"It isn't funny, Tony. Nothing about this situation is funny." Natasha began, turning her head slightly to hear Bruce going out of the room. Probably heading off to comply as best he could to Odin. "A man's brain was taken out. Thor has no idea, and let's not forget he's king now. Odin could, also, still have our heads for this."

"Alright mom, Alright."

Natasha stared him down for a moment before returning into a relaxed seating position. She looked over to her semi-lover, who seemed to be leaning over the balcony still. She'd probably talk with him privately later.

* * *

Odin had not called Bruce- or any of the Avengers up that day. Now the parents wanted to make sure Loki was safe and then proceeded to spoil him with childhood treats he use to love. Despite his hunger for Turkish delight- he ate very little of it. Ham cubes were his new favorite thing…

"They're going to tell Thor.." Odin cursed, leaning on the balcony, staring over his once kingdom.

"They will not." Frigg assured him- but she was scared too.

Loki looked up at his father, chewing on a taffy like candy. The name Thor made something click and lock in his head- he was hearing it more and more lately. The man was important- and the name made his heart skip a beat.

"How do you know? The mortals… they all know. All accept our son."

"We will ask them to leave then?"

"But how would that look? Thor would not like that- and the man has the authority to deny that request."

"Yes. But Thor also knows that they have stayed for a long time here already. More than intended. Our son is not that reckless dog he use to be… Odin. Maybe he would understand our request."

Frigga spoke wise as ever and Odin nodded at her words.

"However… wife," Odin looked out to his once golden Kingdom. The sun setting already on the paradise land and galaxy. "We... We will have to tell him soon. Loki is better enough I think."

The god looked up again when his name was called.

"I know." A shaky sigh, "I know."

* * *

Bruce was called up that night. It was obvious Loki wanted to see him. The parents and main maids were beginning to understand certain hand signals and jerks, even his whimpers. He was communicating.

Again- the god reached for Bruce's glasses. This time the doctor sighed and let the curious trickster have them, watching him carefully. He didn't bring his spare.

"I'm sorry about earlier today Loki." Banner admitted, "I should have been more careful…" He rubbed the back of his head, blurry eyes still fixated on the gods hands. Loki perked his head up at the sound of Bruce's voice. His head slowly drooped down again and he made a "ah" questioning sound.

Frigga had come in first to speak with the doctor. An awkward 'hello' and 'how are you' took place for the two of them, and then silence. Loki's whines and pat downs on the carpet signified that maybe he was feeling the tension in the room too. He wished for someone to speak. He did not like silence.

"Will… Will your friends..?"

"I'm sure they won't. They wouldn't be friends if they told Thor."

A nod from the former queen. "He will have to find out someday…"

"I know. But I'm sure you two don't want us breaking the news to him, right?"

Frigga opened her mouth then closed it. Actually—that might not be the worst idea. Having close friends bring someone closer to the new King? It could calm him… or he'd just get mad and scare Loki with lots of yelling and gestures.

Bruce tilted his head, "My lady?"

"That… That idea is not out of the picture entirely." Her words were unsure, and then Odin stepped in.

"Doctor Banner," a pause, "Do you think our son is getting better?"

"I think he's learning, but I have no idea if his brain is healing." The doctor sighed. It was a terrible fate for anyone. To have such a crucial part of who they were being taken away. Yeah—Loki was a bag full of Cats. Yes, he did do very terrible things… but this? No. No one, not even the devil himself, deserved having his brain taken away.

"Will you ever be able to tell?" Frigga asked, sounding a bit frantic. Bruce shrugged, shaking his head slightly, "I have no idea. Not if he doesn't try to learn."

"Learn?"

"Yes." Bruce was careful with his words, not wanting to insult the royal couple more today. He took his glasses back from Loki, who was now focused on Bruce's hair. "From whenever I come… I always see him playing with something or tugging at people… but never learning. Have you ever given him puzzles or books? I know how he was a magic user. Well… if it's true that you can't take away someones magic completely, then why not give it a jump start? He's basicly a toddler right now… and toddlers learn very fast. If this theory is true- and because his brain is adult, he'd learn double the time… and you might get your son back."


	9. The unexpected death

**AHHH I SUDDENLY THOUGHT THIS CHAPTER UP and I had to post it. Hope you all Enjoy!**

* * *

Once Bruce left that night, he heard voices being raised from the room. Frigga and Odin were fighting again. He could only feel sorry for Loki more, having to hear his parents yell at eachother, all because of him and more. The doctor didn't see Loki as a villain anymore. Infact, he expressed his opinion openly (once back with his friends) that he wondered if Loki was ever a villain. Tony cocked his head to one side... starting to see it. The god was always in his golden brothers shadow, never compared to Thor other than weakness and strength. Thor is set to be king- Loki takes it passively until the truth comes out. It was the straw that broke the cammles back.

"Why do you think the Allfather hid it from the guy?" Tony asked, sipping on his scotch like drink.

"Protection. But it was totally wrong to do. You don't hide adoption from a kid like that… because when they find out? It makes them feel distant. In this case, it was taken to the extreme."

Tony shook his head. "And here I thought crazy just happens." A shrug, setting his drink down. "But do you really think your little school plan will work?"

"There's no doubt his magic is healing his brain gradually. Last days he couldn't even really recognize anyone more than a minute… not he's communicating. It's big."

"Doesn't sound that big."

"But doesn't it? Eh," He fiddled with his glasses, "Well I've seen him most. So I guess I only see it along with his parents."

"They ever gonna let him out of his tower? This is gonna turn into some bad story of Rapunzel soon if nothing happends."

"They're scared for Thor and Loki. Of course they want him up there… they feel sorry for him."

"Yeah well, it sounds like mother dearest and father man brought this upon themselves." Another sip.

"Tony… those are dangerous words here."

The billionaire rolled his eyes and waved Bruce off. "Thor's king, remember?"

Speak of the devil, the god strided in suddenly. Grinning, "My friends! Would you like to join me and my warriors in the baths?"

"Baths?"

"Yes yes."

"Like… together?"

"Yes."

Tony looked at Thor like he had two heads.

"Is such a costum not welcomed on Misgard?"

"Kinda. It's done in other countries… but our culture isn't use to it." Bruce replied before Tony.

"First time for everything then, my followers! Please come."

Before both men could make up a sorry excuse to stay behind, they were being dragged.

* * *

Natasha was out with Sif in the gardens. Apparently some kinda special golden apple was in, and Sif wanted her new friend to try it. Before they got there, they heard a rustle in some soft lavender bushes. Sif investigated first, tilting her head up to see what was behind the plant—

"Agent Natasha!" she gasped, instantly going into battle stance despite the casual dress she was wearing. The red head came beside her quickly and cursed when she saw the sight.

Loki.

He looked up like nothing was wrong to the two women, and gave a small closed smile at Natasha. So he recognized her… hm. That could be good or bad.

Sif drew a secret dagger from her thigh, ready to attack the traitor that was said to want death to Asgard and more. "shouldn't you be in a cell-Loki—" Her mouth was covered by the assassin in a flash and she was pulled aside. Perhaps too aggressively.

A clear uneasy whimper came from Loki, and the god stood, wanting to come over and greet his friend but was stopped by a clear hand motion. "No... Loki… stay there please." She kept her calm and cool voice clear. Sif looked at her like she had _three _heads.

"What is the meaning of your defence for this traitor-"

"Loki had been released from his punishment. He has a right to be here."

Though what was he doing in the gardens so far from Mom and Dad?

Sif shook herself from Natasha's grip. "What?"

"He had been released about a week and a half ago. Please… Sif calm down and look at him for a moment. He's not dangerous in any way."

Loki was wavering where he stood, longing for his friend to greet him. Perhaps a hug.

Sif scrunched up her face, "He does not seem right."

"He is not right what so ever. The Loki you've seen and heard before? Gone…"

Sif looked at her, not believing, than back at Loki. The goddess seemed to stare into his eyes, and she made a sad expression. She had got it.

….. "He is safe to approach if you want a better look at him." Natasha went over first, letting the god smile and touch her hair. Sif shook her head. "No I.."

"Come come. Let him meet you…"

Loki stood behind Natasha when Sif came. Uneasy about the new person. He'd seemed to be meeting a lot of new people lately. The only question was why they were so afraid of him…?

"Loki?"

He turned his head to the goddess who called his name.

This was deffinetly not Loki. Nothing like him. Loki was never a shy one. Infact- he was the most charming of the group when out and about. Always quick with his words and stance. But… this.. thing before her. This was nothing like the god she once knew. It made her a bit uneasy.

Natasha understood her feeling and just let the God and Goddess react to eachother. Twas quite awkward… but with everything explained from the agent, the cruel truth came out.

"They sent him away to be fixed."

"I'm sure that wasn't there intention-"

"At Loki's hearing before the court… Odin had accused him of being an un-ruly child. Full of Greed and hate beyond him. He wanted Loki to fix himself or be fixed…"

Natasha swallowed. That was horrible, "Surely he… did not send his son away to be fixed. I mean-"

Sif shook her head, letting Loki touch her face and examine her silky dress.

"The Allfather was so upset that day. Everyone was. Even Thor. Rage and tension was so high in that room. I swear they were all about to slay him right there."

Loki whimpered suddenly and released Sif, sighing and going back to the flower bush he was fixated on in the first place. Sif now spoke quietly.

"They all hated him. They wanted him to _hurt_… agent Romanoff…"

_They wanted him to be silent and obedient… or dead. _

* * *

Odin was sitting not far from the gardens, but had no intention of going there. Instead he sat with an old book in his hands. He couldn't even open it…

He was so thoughtless in his own mind. He was lost in the maze of old wisdom and contradictions his long long life had made him.

Loki. Thor. One born of his blood and one born of his arch enemy.

When Thor was born, great celebration and meditation was all around Asgard. The son of a King and noble woman… his hair blonde and his skin so soft and perfect. A perfect god to wield such power and to be king like his father one day. Everything in the Allfather's world and worries stopped when he saw Thor for the first time, being carried in a fur and bejeweled blanket by the love of his life.

And then that great war and battle came. Odin had fought Loki's father with such wrath- even he was scared of himself. So many men died that day... it was a cold bloodbath. But it came to an end, and the Jotun's were left in ruin.

He was leaving and searching for bodies of his own when he came upon the babe. Wrapped loosely and giving horrifically sad wails to the sky. Odin had instantly picked the runt up and held him up. The markings on his cold blue body were the same as Laufey. Denial hit him from that day until the next- where his fears were realized. The small runt was his fathers, left in panic or purpose to rot in the cold ice.

He didn't even think when he took Loki. He just picked him up and skipped off without a real care in the worlds. This child was crying and needed a _real_ father. Right?

Frigga took the small adopted son into her arms and instantly fed him... finding peace again. Thor was eagerly waiting to meet his suddenly new brother with such innocence…

And now- that Odin thought of it all… He hadn't even thought of the possibility that maybe the babe was left in freight because of the war. What if someone came back for him and nothing was there?

What if he stole Loki from someone who intended to care for him just as he and Frigga had…

…. And then the thought of his choice on keeping the secret from Loki, only for his boy to find out the worst way possible. His wife had always warned him of that- but of course Odin didn't want to think of that sad possibility.

Feeling his breath hitch he scooted himself more comfy in the chair, fiddling with the cover and first few pages. … By the Norns, what had he done? What had he created?

It was all sinking in- just like when Loki found out… he felt his body become weak with sorrow and fear for the future.

What had he done…

If anything, He had made Loki's life so much worse. If anything- he should've left Loki's fate to his own and not pressed in.

If anything, he should have never let Thanos take his son away from him. Because now?

His son was gone.

* * *

Frigga had come out in search for her husband, intending to apologize for her frantic outburst. She had a feeling of where he would be. The bathing house- but all she could find was Thor and his friends, acting like children in the warm pool.

"Thor, my son," she was unphased by the nudity. Asgardians were much more mature. The two mortals scooted away and sank themselves into the tub, embarrassed to be seen in such a manner. "Have you seen your father? Did he wander through here?"

"No mother." Thor shrugged, ceasing his play and coming over, wrapping a towl around his waist as he got closer. "Why? Is something the matter?"

"No No. He is just missing from my sight as usual."

Thor nodded and returned, Frigga going out.

She wandered into the sanctuary where herbs and vegetables were. Seeing his sillouette, she ran up and tapped his shoulder, "My love, let us not be like this today. Come, perhaps another date and more?"

She turned to see his face and gasped, backing up in horror. She knew that look. It had been so long since she'd seen it… years and years and years…

She'd never thought she would see it from her own husband…

The Allfather had the look of …...

His eyes glassy and no shine in them, his mouth stiffly open. No heaving from his chest?

….. The Allfather was dead.

It was said that day Frigga's cry could be heard miles from the Kingdom and Castle.

* * *

**Such a twist to our story! Some of you may like this and some of you may not- but believe me, we're getting to the real drama and romance story soon. Lots planned! lemme know what you think.**


	10. aRound' the nostalgia we go

**IM ON A ROLL AGAIN-**

**warning for a very dark beginning and sad things :(**

* * *

_Thanos had suddenly summoned Loki one night. He was un-prepared, which was weird. Loki knew the pattern of 'uniting' with the mad titan now. So this was quite unsettling… but he always remembered to be silent and docile. So when they dragged him to Thanos's corridors, he simply breathed._

_Thanos was sitting quietly by the fire with other chitauri. Loki recognized one of them from the other night…. But the others were choked with horrible looking collars and bagged heads. The god tilted his head as the door closed. Whatever this was, he was trapped now. "ah…?"_

_Thanos smirked and handed Loki a large machete. _

_"Kill them."_

_Loki jerked his head up, not understanding the new task he had to preform... Thanos had taught him so much. So many vile tricks and acts to please the warrior and warriors (who he deemed worthy to lay with his pet once in awhile)._

_But now this sharp object was in his hands, and his master was speaking in such babyish tongue._

_Thanos pushed him closer to the men who jerked back._

_"It's not that complicated, Asgardian." He placed the knife in Loki's hand the right way and held the gods arm up. "The throats. Where the neck is. See?"_

_Thanos was making Loki do his dirty work now._

_"You had murdered on earth. What is the problem now?" He teased._

_Loki held the giant knife with uncertainty. Thanos suddenly grabbed and pushed Loki away, "I will demonstrate then."_

_Gushing blood and a morbid cry to the ground was all he really remembered from the example._

_Thanos laughed. And the next thing Loki knew was that the mad man was behind him, helping Loki bash the poor men's heads in with the large knife. Loki felt some splatter on his face—he screamed and tried to push against the force that was leading his massacar, only to be hit to the ground once done._

_Loki had cried more then ever and screamed into the floor when Thanos proceeded to rape him that night. Blood still on his face and drying up despite his tear and snot stained face._

Loki awoke with a cry and forced hands. Guards. Guards had come to bring him out of bed. He protested with fickle movements but only was forced to be chained suddenly. He cried out for mother, screamed for Bruce, and even whimpered for Natasha. But none showed up. He was carried down a hallway and memories for flirting with his head. He began to sob- feeling like he was being taken to Thanos again. That monster—that blood… the pain that came after- the warmth that entered him always before the titan got up—

"Unhand him!" The voice of the female warrior echoed through the halls. "Unhand him at once! By order of me and the former queen!"

* * *

_"Come brother! Sif does not bite. Why will you not spar with her?" Thor said teasingly, "Your magic will easily over power her. What have you fear? Hm?"_

_The young timid Loki shook his head. "That's not it Thor. You know what it is."_

_"It is because you crave her supple touch?" _

_Loki shot a mad glare at him, "No! You—I do not like her." He defended himself with uncertainty._

_"Then what is it? The girl accepts the challenge with ease. Why can't you?"_

_Loki bit his lip and was trying to focus on his new book that father had given him. Trying to ignore Thor. Trying to ignore the confusing feelings in his gut._

_"Thor please go. Tell her I will not fight a girl."_

_"With such a statement you know she'll charge you instead."_

_Loki nodded at the words and pretended not to hear them. Thor sat stubbornly beside. "Brother… please? It will be fun. You never spar with us anymore. Or even train for that matter."_

_"I do not like you and your friends games."_

_"They are your friends too."_

_Loki scoffed inside his 's friends were Thor's friends. They were loud and snarky and stubborn like his brother. He was forced with them one time and it never stopped after that. The only one he really enjoyed seeing was Fandral… he was nice. He could have a conversation without barbaric notions and jokes. …. He was very nice._

_Loki bit his lip and looked to Thor. _

_"Have you re-considered?"_

_"No."_

_"Please brother!"_

_"Yes! Join us!" Fandrals voice appeard suddenly behind his big brother along with Hogun. Loki instantly looked up, his ears turning red. "Sif will enjoy fighting with the best wizard in Asgard." A joyful laugh and smirk came from the two. Thor loudly agreed._

_Loki knew what would happen as he entered the small training shed. Sif would beat him. A mere girl would beat him and Thor would hold in a laugh- Fandral would turn around and try to hide one too… Hogun would look away and Volstagg would just enjoy. Sif would snicker. _

_He stood ready, repeating an already attack spell as he circled the girl. Maybe he would just show off his magic abilities. Maybe he'd put up a good show. Maybe sif would suddenly get sick and call off the fight—He really didn't want to be embarrassed infront of these people… he wanted to be quiet and content with his books._

_But the fight had already started._

_And it ended like he predicted._

_His face was in the dirty dust and his hands ground into the grass, pinned down by Sif as she cackled and bragged on how Loki was the real girl._

_He looked to his brother as he helped him up. Thor was laughing loudly and already teasing Loki, then congradulating Sif. He looked to Hogun and Volstagg who snickered and already made jokes. Then to Fandral—and something in his heart sank. His cheeks turned red and he felt sick…_

_He ran as fast as he could out of the scene. Tears running down his cheeks._

Loki was running just like that memory. Fast and furious with sorrow. Tears streaming down his cheeks as he turned halls like a wild dog. His chest and weak body struggling not to fall.

Looking behind him as he heard the female warriors voice- he bumped right into someone. Bigger yet softer than he. He fell back and was dizzy instantly, noises above him small and crinkly sounding.

"B-Brother!?"

Loki instantly began to cry at the loudness above him, shaking his head no. No. No more pain- please! Please… he was so lost… so lost. So scared- STOP BEING LOUD- please! Please!

"pl- nngh.. pl…" He licked his lips and wrenched his eyes shut as Thor picked him up to sit straight, Loki continued to shake his head.

"Brother- Brother what happened?" Thor was at a struggle for words. But before he could ask more Loki's face was buried deep into his armor.

_Thor was running after his fragile younger, screaming his name. "Brother!? Brother wait! Your too fast! Hey!"_

_"LEAVE ME ALONE." He found a volume of voice he never knew he had, "GO AWAY." He rubbed his eyes as his legs finally gave. He stopped, crying like an infant. He couldn't stop—_

_"Brother…!" Thor came behind him, "Brother- it was just a silly fight. It is alright.. we were just teasing-"_

_"You knew it would happen!"_

_"wha-"_

_"YOU KNEW. You know I'm weak at athletic events! You knew that! Sif had beat me at races and tug ropes before- you knew she'd beat me. You were just bored and so you turned to me. KNOWING I couldn't say no! You knew!"_

_"Brother that's a lie-"_

_"I AM THE CHILD OF LIES AND MISCHEIF. YOU'RE LYING." He turned and screamed at his brother, pushing him to the ground. "GO AWAY."_

_And he continued running._

Thor was clinging tight to Loki as Sif came trotting down the hall. He was so shocked. His brother was clinging to him like he was mom, so young minded and frightened. His brother was here but… he wasn't. This was the body of his brother- but not his… soul? Thor made a muffled grunt as Sif nudged him to attention.

"Thor…"

"Loki.. he is… here."

"Yes I know."

Thor looked down to his cowering brother. "He is here…"

"Thor… let me take him. You need to be with your mother during this time-"

"We." Thor corrected her with a determined voice. "We…" He looked down to his broken brother, "We need to be with mother right now."

Loki looked up to have his slick black hair brushed out of his face by strong, sun kissed hands. Thor helped the trickster up with one arm, the other bracing himself against the wall. His mind still working to realize the whole situation.

"Thor. Are you sure? You- Your father-"

"Would want his two sons with him at his burial."

* * *

The Kingdom was very quiet that evening. The Avengers said they could not attend the Allfathers funeral, but they mourned in their own rooms on their own time. Thinking of their friend Thor and hoping he'd be okay.

Weren't gods supposed to be immortal?


	11. blocks

**This chapter is short :( I am sorry. **

* * *

The dead father upset Loki greatly. No one understood why- infact most expected the god to not even care much as his brain was egg anyway. But Loki began crying as soon as he saw his fathers face up close. Yes… it was less bloody and less haggard looking but- he'd never forget that look of death. Those glassy eyes. No. He wept from Thor to Mother as his adoptive care giver was buried.

Thor did not care for the whispers that guided him and Loki out of the memory ceremony. Ghastly insults directed at his newly found brother. He glared at them all. And if Looks could kill- their skin would melt off as soon as Thor glanced. Loki was too 'innocent' to realize such a thing. Sometimes he would even attempt a smile at the crowd and cliques, only to get a dirty look back or be pushed away with eyes. The new King made a note on who would be replaced soon in the council.

"Brother." Thor began at the end of the day. Frigga had given Loki to Thor's chamber that night. The fragile trickster needed someone. He also needed to get re-acquainted with Thor. She was sure Loki remembered his brother… but only in a timid way.

Loki dozed his head up, playing with some blocks. He seemed to be building something.

"Do you wish to eat? Eat?" Thor made a motion to his face of stuffing a piece of invisible bread in his mouth. Loki cocked his head to the side.

"Eat." He made the familiar notion to his tummy and Loki instantly nodded. He understood.

Thor took note to the signal and memorized it. Frigga, before she gave her youngest to him, told him what had happened and calmed Thor before he could smash a window. It took great will for him to not burn all of the mountains down in rage. Mother briefly told him what the new Loki liked and did not liked. Deffinetly no loud noises or sudden man-handling, no pinning down (she once attempted to tickle Loki like he was her child again- only to see him sobbing) and no force. If you tried to force him? You'd get more resistance.

The green eyed young watched Thor as he called for his favorite server, beckoning wine and roasted chicken for himself with a side of bedazzled rice, and some milk and sweet bread with a side of ham cubes for his brother.

The server bowed and was quick to his feet. Thor closed the door and crouched to Loki, "What is this you are building?" He asked, reaching to poke at the small tower, Loki hissed and slapped away Thors hand. The kind couldn't help but smile at the act.

_Loki use to do that when little…_

_…._

He ate his ham cubes with delight and drank his milk, but he only took a few bites of bread. Thor had eaten his meal thankfully and with much glutton. He'd never change in that aspect.

He looked at his brother when coming out of the washroom, tilting his head at the image of Loki rocking himself from side to side as he looked on to his tower. Was he- excited it seemed? Proud of his creation?

Thor smiled and paid Loki no disturbance, only saying, "Very nice Loki, mayhaps I will order more detailed blocks for you."

He could've sworn he saw his little brother smile.

The king sat on his overly sized bed (you could fit 5 people, full grown, on it) and watched his brother slowly and carefully take his creation down. Putting the blocks by color carefully into the marble box they came in.

"Loki,"

Loki looked up, chewing on his lower lip.

Thor was about to compliment him again. But he saw the patch of hair… starting to regrow- but you could see the sitches. He inhaled slightly and looked away, suddenly holding back tears.

What had they done to you… Loki.

…. What have _we_ done to you.

"Loki." He said again, his voice now more strained. Again the god looked up, a more curious gaze in his eye. His brother had called his name twice… why?

"ah…" Loki drifted his gaze up and down Thor, inching to stand but a hand motion from the golden prince told him to stay.

"…n..nothing… nevermind."

Loki watched his brother lay down, and Loki crept up to him, seeing runny uncertain tears down his brothers cheek. "mmm.." he touched one of them and Thor sighed. "It's nothing do not fret. Okay?"

Loki makes a confused whimper and slips down from the bed, crawling to his little pit of blankets he made for himself. Thor watches with fixated eyes. Had he understood? N-no no… lets not get too hopeful Thor.

In his train of somber thought he finds Loki watching him, a chin on his bed, looking like a hungry passive pup. He couldn't help but smile.

"Yes Loki?"

Loki just stares at him. His eyes seeming more intense than usual.

"Yes, Loki?"

"…mmn.." Loki puts a hand out for Thor, tugging at the sheets with the other.

The golden king sits up, gripping his brothers hand. "What is it, brother?"

" …" Loki gets a frustrated look on his face. "mmo…mommmn..mo…"

Thor tenses up.

"Mm..mother…"

He spoke.


	12. To speak is a privilege

**Hello everyone! I do hope you enjoy this chapter. Yes- we saw Loki speak his first word! But will it be good for him?**

**Find out here. :) Please read and review this one.**

* * *

"If you think this is funny, my son, It is not." Frigga's voice broke at the last bit, her eyes still pink from crying and mourning. It hadn't even been a full day yet- and burdens were already coming upon her. Each set of flowers and fruits from peasants and the council set her on edge. They were only reminding her that Odin was gone.

"Mother- please hear me out. Hear him!" The frantic blonde pointed to a very confused and wavering Loki. As soon as he heard Loki speak, he rushed him over to mother.

Loki whined and looked at Frigga, fists tugging at his loose clothes.

"He spoke, Mother. Please believe me."

"Loki cannot speak."

"But he did! He did- I swear!"

Frigga held up her hand. She wasn't having this. Not now. "Thor… are you sure you weren't dreaming? You weren't tired? I know you've been bombarded with work left by your fathe-"

"Mother." Thor's voice raised about 2 bars. "Mother… please believe me. Loki did speak. I promise you."

"My son…" she shook her head and looked away from the two. Loki was proceeding for her, whimpering because of the almost yelling that just happened.

Taking Loki's hand and sitting on a silk chair, she sighed, watching Loki sit in her lap like a child. Ahh- she was too old for this.

"Mother-"

"Out. Thor."

"wha-"

"Out! Attend to your Kingdom. If Loki can speak my name… then he will in time. But for now everyone is upset and tired. Your kingdom needs re-assurance from their young lord."

Thor watched as Loki whimpered and whined like a dog into her neck, tugging at her hair lightly. His brother was so helpless…so unlike himself. It almost brought physical pain to see him like this.

Once the flowing bulk and read cape was out the door, Frigga gently escorted her weeping son to her resting chamber. One that was made only for her now.

"Oh... Loki, hush. Why do you cry so? No yelling was heard." She hushes him, wiping his flowing eyes and nose. "Shhhh... child do not cry so much."

Loki shook his head and pushed his mother's hands down, looking at her in the eye.

"What? What is it Loki?" another try to wipe his face and Loki made a cry that echoed. Frigga gasped and held him close, almost scared now for her son. He had not wept like this in days.

"Loki my son… don't cry- it is alright."

"M-mother."

Frigga froze while holding her son, eyes going wide. "wh-"

"M-mother!"

"Child!" a cry of happiness and she turned him so that she could see his face and his her's. "My child- you speak…. you speak! Thor wasn't lying- ah," Loki buried his face deep in her chest again, weeping more. "M-my son… what is wrong? This should be celebrated-"

Loki rapidly shook his head and mumbled, "I remember…"

Frigga gulped and held her son as tight as she could. Of course- all those memories. He… oh... oh god..

"shhhh... shhh it is alright.. mother is here…"

She rocked him to sleep that dreadful night. Her poor, poor Loki. Cursed by his past and everyone around him. She could only imagine the headache and pain he was going through right now. She was also just… surprised that he wept into her arms like this. Begging for her comfort like when he was a child. Before his sentencing- he had cursed her name and Odin's. Threatening Ragnarok was coming to Asgard if it was the last thing he did. Her son was pure rage that day- yelling and spiting venom all the way up to the mountains. Asgard shed no grief for him. They wanted him gone- she remembered. Some wanted him to die- to be left. …. Shaking her head on such a day, she kissed his forehead and laid him down.

Perhaps- it might've been easier if he didn't remember….

n-no. Do not think such things! Be grateful that your son has... has come back to you..!

* * *

Loki woke in his own room, gasping as a blank, dark, deathly grim dream was ended from the sunlight on his face. Sitting up he clutched the sheets, a single tear coming down his face…

His head also was unbearable.

He inhaled and exhaled with deep sadness, laying back down. He wished that the covers would swallow him whole and he'd be in the sea or stars. Nothing but a roaming soul with no real purpose- no real past. So he could only look upon the stars with a hazey mind… it was easier that way.

Acting like it would just happen, he made himself into a cocoon from the sheets and extra blankets he had. Not caring if it was too hot. Closing his eyes, he inhaled and exhaled again. Dissapear… Dissapear. Dissapear… please…

_It was so much easier before…. Please- by the gods… let me go away. Let me not face this._

He quietly began to weep, trying to hide it. He should be dehydrated by all the crying he was doing.

From the pathetic state he was in- his curiosity got the better of him as he heard lots of laughing from bellow his room. Far but close.

Standing and wobbling to the window, he leaned out.

Stark and Banner were laughing it up about… something. Next to enter was Sif and Natasha, seeming to roll their eyes at the two and then the distant warriors.

"I miss my lab- despite all the young wine and women around here." Stark loudly complained, "My suits need some tinkering- and with all this Asgardian inspiration? I have new plans for each and every one. Jarvis is also probably weeping over my pardon."

Banner shook his head and adjusted his glasses, wandering off from Tony only to be followed.

"Don't lie that you don't want to get all needy with me too. My lab is candyland, remember? I remember."

Bruce nodded, "Yes yes it was quite impressive."

"Sooo? How bout' it. Once we're out of paradise, sleepover at Tony's?"

"We'll see. I'd like to go back to Brazil or India and see what I can do there."

"Still helping the poor's I see?"

"Better then working on suits." Bruce gave him a cold look. "I like to help people, Tony. Especially the ones who need it most."

"Hey Hey- it was a joke. You've been awfully snappy lately. Need a release of the other guy or something?"

Natasha beckoned, "Stark. Please. Why don't you go spar with the boys? Cap sure likes it."

Tony blushed and rolled his eyes.

The redhead smirked and turned to Sif to return to their conversation, but caught a glimpse of a moving shadow. She smiled.

Sif questioned and turned around as well, gasping and laughing a bit.

"Hey," Natasha whispered. "What are you doing here?"

The shadow backed up a bit, green eyes avoiding contact and kicking a random branch aside. He was turning around to leave when suddenly he felt a tug at his arm.

Loki whined, looking over to Natasha. He really didn't mean to be seen.

"Something wrong?" The agent cocked her head and looked to her friend who just shrugged. "Oh- is it the boys over there? Don't worry. They're too engaged to see you."

Loki shook his head and broke her grip. Backing up more.

Natasha's eyes squinted and examined the god, "You aren't like yourself, has something happened?"

She kicked herself for such a comment. Of course something happened. His father had died. But- if she was Loki… no offense, but she wouldn't exactly be whimpering over his death… after all- Odin was almost to blame for Loki's whole life story. Right?

"What's wrong?" her voice was wavering to concerned. Which rarely happened.

Loki shook his head, biting his lip to keep quiet.

_D-don't talk- Don't look at them. Why did I even come down here anyway? W-wh.. they don't want me here. Why does she sound worried? Ju-Just don't speak- don't open that accursed mouth of yours. Look away- LEAVE._

_Be silent._

"Loki?"

The gods head popped up at Banner's voice.

_He- that beast! Doctor Banner… was it? Yes.. O-oh gods he's coming near... Don't look. Put your head back down. Don't speak. Am I blushing? Why do my legs feel so heavy- MOVE._

_Shut your mouth._

"Loki, Long time no see," Banner came over, then frowned slightly. Tony followed, looking at the god like he was a peculiar creature. One to approach but not pet.

"Is something wrong?"

Loki shook his head again, whining and breaking the bottom lip with his teeth.

"Loki!" Bruce came close, too close. The trickster instantly pushed him to the ground with force even he didn't understand. Tony grunted and came close, Natasha backed up and looked down then up to Loki.

"Loki…?"

_G-god don't Look at them! Don't! They don't want to see your grotesque face!_

At this Loki was running into the gardens and fields, away from everyone- away. Just leave.

_I can't- please- I deserve to go back to the mountains! Please!_

_I'm sorry… Im so sorry… don't look at me- don't follow- you won't catch me. You won't. I won't let any of you burden yourselves! Please— _He wrenched his eyes shut as he heard them calling after him. He felt so cold- looking down to his hands his skin was blue. He was monster.

_I'm so sorry for what I am- father-_

He past Odin's grave.

_I'm so sorry- someone… anyone- take me away from here- PLEASE. Let me disappear- oh god it hurts- everything hurts. My head hurts._

He was running so fast it felt like he was flying. Tears streaming down his eyes as he ran- wind scraping against his frozen face. Eyes red as rubies.

_Don't let them catch you- _

_Everything hurts…_

_Take me away- someone- help! Help make me near death again—_

THUMP.

"Fuck!"

Loki gasped as he fell to the ground and hit his head- causing a dizzy spell. He coughed up some spit and moved to his side, hearing mumbled curses and confused grunts as his new challenge slowly rose up.

…..Agent Barton.

"Fuck…" the archer rubbed his head and looked down to Loki, shivering. "Christ-" He stepped back. Why the hell was Loki blue- and his eyes! He'd never seen anything like it.

Loki whimpered away, trying to stand. But his throbbing ankle forbid him from doing that.

"I-I'm sorry-" his voice was so strained and quiet.

Clinton only mad a confused stare down to the trickster. Unsure of what to do. …. "Loki?"

"I-I'm sorry-! I'll just… I.. a-are you hurt?"

"What- oh- no I'm fine… are you?" Barton crouched down only to have hands risen to his face.

"Y-yes… you.."

A very very dark mist came over Clintons mind. He gulped at the thoughts rising in his heart and mind.

Loki. The god of mischief was begging infront of him. Such a sight did not befall any mortal. Not by chance… right…?

'_Look at him cowering over you… Look at how scared and weak he looks. How he talks. So nervous'_

Wh-what the fuck was that voice?

_'You wanted such revenge on such a poor creature…'_

H-he's already had punishment-

_'Has he? Has he really? He killed so many- Barton. He dares say sorry for such actions in a childlike matter to you? Really?'_

…..

_For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires, _

_ Let not light see my black and deep desires; _

_ The eye wink at the hand; yet let that be _

_ Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see._

* * *

**UH-OH- who's speaking to a vengeful Clint? And what dark desires does he have? I'll update as soon as I can guys! that quote was from MacBeth if you all recognize :3**

**poor Loki as always :( **Atleast he can talk now, right? ;3;


	13. He was different

**Sorry for such a delay- but I'm back! will probably update this weekend too.**

**BIG WARNING. Dub-con/non-con here. Basicly rape. Don't like don't read.**

* * *

B-Barton-" , A whimper of a moan.

"Shhhshh... I have you. Your safe." , A firm, reassuring voice. Commanding.

"…ah! P-please!", a muffled cry in the field of flowers.

"Shhh." , A hushing whisper to a trembling ear and head.

* * *

_Shhhh, Little Prince. Don't talk- don't think. It's easier that way, is it not? Open your mind for me. Open up for me… that's it.. shhhh shhhh… I'm gonna make you feel good little trickster. Shhhh… Open for me. That's it. Now that doesn't hurt, does it? I've got you. _

* * *

Loki felt his face hit the soft grass bellow him as Clinton proceeded on top, strong arms holding him in place and tugging down his pants with such strength. A muffled whimper was heard and Barton stopped, giving him hushed words.

"You're alright..." He held any struggles in place, causing some tears to be shed once more by the god.

"P-please! It'll hurt- it'll hurt! Please-"

"No. No it won't- I'll make sure you feel good."

"Agent Barton please-"

A more rough grip was felt on his would be 'love handles'. Enough to cause bruising.

"You call me sir or Clint. Clinton's fine too."

Loki whined more and the grip became more tough.

"Yes?"

"y-yes."

He felt Clint lean up a bit, he could hear the zipper coming down. Loki gripped the grass bellow him and dug his nails into the dirt. It was a bit wet…

"Don't struggle."

"I-It-It'll hurt! I know it will."

_It always hurt.. it always did…. Please- please don't do this! Please- I'm so sorry… o-oh god.._

"Shhhh. It won't if you don't struggle."

_It will- I know it will! Please PLEASE… n-no.._

He felt Clint's raise to his entrance, but before he pushed in… he leaned over, putting some of his weight on the god. Warmth… body contact. For some reason it calmed the god considerably. It made him feel grounded… very similar to a baby feeling swaddled.

Whispering, "what do you have to say for yourself? For everything you've done."

A muffled groan and shaky sigh- then a hit to his side. Loki inched up in pain and coughed.

"What was that?"

"I-I'm sorry." His voice was so quiet…

"I can't hear you."

"I'm sorry!"

"For what?" Barton began to kiss Loki's neck and back. Something that was never given to the god when he was taken by Thanos or anyone else. Affection. He almost feared it.

"F-for everything on your planet." Warm tears overflowed his miserable ruby red eyes. "everything… f-for controlling you- everything! Please- I'm so sorry." A gasp as Clint laid on the god more, causing a strange warmth to come over him.

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes…"

"Why do you mean it?"

"wh-why?"

Another, lighter hit. Loki flinched and gripped the ground.

"Yes. Tell me why you're sorry."

Loki shook his head, very confused. He felt lighter kisses and grips on his neck and back… "I-I just... I regret it…" a shy gulp, "I don't… I don't like what I was… what I am..." His red eyes darted to his blue hands. "It… It was easier... being so mindless…. It was…" a muffled sob, "I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be me…."

Clinton bit into Loki's shoulder, causing a gasp.

"Then let your mind go blank."

"wh-what?"

* * *

_Shhhh, Little Prince. Don't talk- don't think. It's easier that way, is it not? Open your mind for me. Open up for me… that's it.. shhhh shhhh… I'm gonna make you feel good little trickster. Shhhh… Open for me. That's it. Now that doesn't hurt, does it? I've got you._

* * *

"You know. Let yourself go…" His voice was commanding again. "For me."

He felt Clinton suddenly push in and Loki cried out, a hand gripping his hair as it pressed in further. Loki's mind began to swim in panic.

_I-I'm being raped again- SOMEONE HELP- O-oh gods It burns… it burns so much… I feel like I'm on fire- always on fire. Oh- HE'S SO BIG I'm going to rip! PLEASE STOp. Stop….. ah- wh… why is he kissing me?_

Hmf-

_He… He's on me again… so warm... ah! Oh god he's so big- please- please STOP._

"s-stop…stop it."

"Shhh." Clinton did stop his thrusting though, letting the god adjust. "You and I know you're not getting out of this, prince. You'll never get out of this. Not until I'm done and you're done."

Loki shook his head and bit on his lip as Clint continued his assult.

"Don't be so tense. Let your mind go. Let me in." another, harsh thrust. "Let me in."

"Y-you're already in!"

A smack to the side. "Don't yell at me."

_Be silent._

"You know what I mean, Loki. Yes. Physically?" another thrust and yelp, "I AM in. But… not in your mind…"

Loki didn't remember Barton ever sounding like this. Th-this wasn't him. Right? The great Hawkeye would never rape someone so much weaker then him- he didn't sound like himself. Did he?

"Don't you want that freedom again, Loki? No thinking? No remembering? Hmm. You aren't a monster when your lost, are you?"

Barton could never be this manipulating. It sounded like he was reading a script-

Loki was at a loss of words. Each thrust Clinton gave now was pushing Loki over the edge. He blushed at the realization of his cock getting hard. His filthy self was ENJOYING this assault… but why? Why?

More kisses ran over his back side and gentle strokes to his sides and ass. Barton was now getting gentle with his molestation. Infact- he was hitting a certain spot that sent shivers and warm signals down his body. Wh… what was happening to him?

"There's a good lad… look at you. Opening yourself. Doesn't that feel better?"

_Yes._

"Doesn't it feel good to have someone else gain control? To replace your mind?"

_Yes._

"Now open yourself more… that's it… ohh.. you moaning now? Ha." A grunt then chuckle as Barton sped up slightly. Indeed. Loki was moaning and whimpering softly now. "Good… Good.. that's it. There we go- oh! Fuck… yes…yes."

_Yes._

Barton grunted with each buck. It was apparent the man was getting close to a release. Loki knew then it would be over- and he'd keep running away from the castle—

"AH-"

The assassin had grabbed his swollen cock and began to stroke it- creating a pattern of buck and swoon to Loki. Clinton chuckled at the noises Loki was trying to keep in.

_Whats happening to me. Why- why is he doing this!? Th-Thanos never gave me such pleasure… no it was always painful… so.. why… why…_

Tears of confusion rang from his eyes when he could feel himself spill on Clintons hand. He gulped and laid himself- fully relaxing his body for the archer now.

_It doesn't hurt like last time._

"F-fuck!" following soon after, Barton made his release too. But with Loki's surprise- the assassin didn't spill his seed inside. He took out- then felt a warm splutter on his back.

_It didn't hurt like last time._

* * *

"Loki is missing?" Thor boomed, guiding his way down from the throne to his beloved friends. Natasha and Sif had explained everything. Thor looked like he was scanning for something to hit. Tony seemed to be the best choice- since the word got out that He and Bird man were not taking likely.

Tony looked away and rubbed the back of his head. Awkward.

"We will search for him." Hogun promised and Fandral nodded. "You musn't leave your throne to such a task. He would not venture far."

"If Loki is freighted, then he can run for miles."

_That time when they were children._

"We are swift and strong, Thor. We will find him by ourselves." Voltsagg assures his royal friend.

"I want him to me in an hour- or I will send out an amour."

"Thor, an hour?" Fandral makes a face, "Surely we need more time-"

"An_. Hour."_

Submitting to the command, the warriors set out, leaving a worried King and worried group of superhero's.

Steve is the first to approach Thor, who's still standing and watching his Asgard cavalry go out.

"I'm sure Loki would come back on his own, if that makes you feel better."

"Why do you say that?"

Steve shrugs, "If he's still in the mindset he's… been, then he'd always come back to what's most familiar with him. You told us that the servants and maids know he's around the castle now. They haven't forgotten what Loki looks like, right?"

"He looks exactly like he did before all this happened…"

"Then I'm sure in about a minute or two he'll show. Don't be worried." A soft, golden smile. Steve always knew how to make people feel better. Thor wouldn't argue with that.

"You are right…"

"Should we go…?" Banner asks. "He was awfully scared."

Thor shakes his head.

"Let the ones who he is most familiar with find him."

Natasha nods, thinking of her new found friend Sif. The female warrior would definitely be gentle with the man. Infact, she hoped out of all, Sif or Hogun would find Loki first.


	14. Both, trapped

**Hello! as I promised, here is your weekend update! But without Seth Myers :(**

see what I did there.

**Please enjoy! No warnings this time- just some sad stuff. As always, a big thankyou to my regular reviewers and now new followers! It really makes me so happy. **

* * *

"_If you want more, then return to me tonight."_

_It sounded like a cheap spoken scene from a horrible movie or play—but-_

_His voice was full of venom and thick stench of manipulation. Much was Loki's tongue way back… but now this timid mind took anything to heart…_

_Barton had made him feel like no other. Like a drug- he took the pain away. He made it go away. He wasn't like Thanos- or Thor- Odin- anyone. All the awful regret and painful memories of his turmoil and evil was gone in an instant. He made him beg like a mere pup._

_This was a magic he could never understand._

His fuzzed up mind and body walked slowly to the castle. He wasn't trying to understand- oh no. No no… he wasn't going to think about much… but… Agent Barton… just made him beg and whimper and feel like …. Nothing he's ever felt.

He made everything go away.

Loki heard muffled cries and then suddenly he was gently being pushed by his past friend Sif, soothing words being his encouragement to go to Thor and show his face to everyone. He looked back, staggering now with the help of Hogun and Sif, Fandral behind and Voltsagg leading them and yelling to the eager servants ahead that it was alright. He wanted to see Clint again- his face- his eyes- but where they his eyes? No… and that wasn't his voice... was it?

And then the sad thought came into him that Barton had violated him- he took his pride and body without anything. He thought nothing of Loki.

_But he wasn't like the rest._

He didn't give that awful pity baby talk- or that pathetic glare of sadness. No- he treated him normally… right?...right?

_Have I forgotten how to be treated normal? What did that feel like?_

His mind was turning over itself in confusion. He was thinking.

_But I had never been treated normal. Have I._

He could see Thor and his little Hero friends waiting for him.

_Always called Silver Tongue. Always been a liar- ever since I was little. People were taught to be one step ahead of me- but then I'd be two steps ahead of them. Then he'd get scolded for his pranks- sneered at because of his snake like eyes. Teased because he was weaker than the golden son. Weak. Disquisting- UN-IMPORTANT._

He made a whimper and light head bud to Thor, who was trying to pull the brother into an embrace.

_You just didn't want your reputation as a good king to be discouraged because you lost your family member._

"Brother, what has happened? What scared you so?"

_They were all looking at me. _

Thor pushes him into a forced hug- one that helped the torn god lighten up a bit. It brought back memories of easier days. One when Thor and He, so young, went out on adventures. Just the two of them- exploring. And usually on those trips the bulky dog would even _Listen_ to Loki's rambling about magic. The day usually finished with one of Thor's signature hugs- which is what was happening now.

The god gave a whine and sigh…

"Brother, here, Mother was worried just as I. You should see her. She misses you."

_She just wants someone to hug because her beloved Husband is dead._

Ohh, a harsh thought. Loki quickly kicks himself and his bitter soul for that.

He follows Thor without a word, ignoring the concerns and urges from the Avengers. He didn't want to be near that crowd- to be looked at by the warriors. Thor was his chosen savior right now- leading him out and up to his mother. Hopefully the woman wouldn't sob once seeing her frazzled and fallen son. Thor looked like he was about to break down along with that.

Kings shouldn't cry.

* * *

Clinton had a booming headache. As he sought off Loki, he found himself sleeping on the soft grass. A buzzing thick gross beetle woke him- and then came the hangover like pain. It felt like a party with Tony (these few nights) and now he couldn't remember anything that happened- could he? Oh god this headache was going to kill him…

_What had happened…_

He lifted himself up, gasping as he felt sore down… there. There? Like thighs and lower ab and pelvis muscles. Like he just had wild sex. He knew this burning sensation- this morning dew that crowds your muscles and doesn't let them go until you do it again.

But he hadn't had sex in… uh..

Had he had it…? No-

But apparently he did.

_'Now wasn't that fun, little bird?'_

With that he drew his arrow and bow, looking around franticly. Voices? Sneaking up on the trained killer? Not a good idea. Whoever was out there was about to get a tazor arrow in their ass.

_'You won't find me out here, I'm far away.'_

He could feel his heart rate beat up and up- he recognized this god forsaken feeling. Someone was in his head.

_'Do not fret, I am not here to harm you inside or out. I would just like to inform you that you have what you wanted.'_

"What?"

Wait- NO! Don't ask question to the obvious psychopath in your head!

_'You wanted revenge- and you took it. To my surprise, your little prince enjoyed himself. Are you a sex god, on your world, Agent Barton?'_

He felt a shiver run down his spine and all through his nervs.

_A laugh._

* * *

**Uh oh- Is it Thanos? Someone else!? Who's taking Barton's mind again? :( And wasn't Loki's punishment over?**

**please review!**


	15. Drunk in their own ways

**A horrible writer's block hit me guys :( I'm sorry for this wait. I also had to update ****_Tragedies_**** before this too- I owe much to the transformers community.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter-! Poor Loki and Barton are suffering. I must say this fanfic has taken a dark turn.**

**Reviews are always thanked ;3;**

* * *

Two cruel sleepless nights had passed for both gentlemen. Loki was always going to Thor's grand room, interrupting sometimes between him and Sif (nothing explicit luckily). Of course the female warrior would shoot glares at Loki- sick or not. This was supposed to be private time for her lover and she…

But that sad damp look on Loki's face would always betray her. He'd come in looking like a wet cat or something, sweaty and damp with snot and tears, gripping his clothes and barely making sentences. Thor would rush to him, taking his little brother into a more compfy sleep. Thor always asked what plagued his brother so… Loki would lie or say nothing.

_How could I confess such awful dreams to my brother? He is King now. He had enough on his mind._

Clint was a different book to read entirely. He'd barely sleep- or always journey to the tip top of the castle, watching everyone be merry without him. Tony could barely get the archer out for a drink now… Natasha could never find him. Something was wrong here, very very wrong.

Finally, one day she saw Clint.

"Barton." She greeted, not wanting to scare him off like a normal woman would do. Running up to him screaming and asking non-important questions.

Clint turned sharply to her, clutching his bow so tightly, his knuckles white. "Natasha…"

"I haven't seen you lately… off with the Asgard ladies again?"

"No." He turned away, starting to flee the scene.

"What's wrong?" Now she had to be assertive. He was hiding something dark. His eyes said it all.

"Nothing. Why would you ask-"

"Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

"I try not to."

And with that he was out some window, climbing some wall, away from everything.

_I can't keep this infernal voice out…_

* * *

"Has Asgard treated you all well lately?" Thor came in the mess hall the next morning, greeting a very hungover Tony and jolly Steve. Natasha was just coming in for breakfast. They all looked tired in their own way.

"Oh yes." Tony grinned under his pain, barely eating his bread then drinking his water. "God yes."

Thor laughed, knowing what the great Anthony Stark was probably up to last night. "Good Good."

Steve looked up, rather curious. "So like- we've been here for more than a week… almost a month. Should we be heading home soon..?"

"Ah- well, Asgard should think so… but I can already predict the kingdom missing each and every one of you. Once you leave, it will be lucky if you come back."

"Knew I shoulda' brought my camera." Tony sighed.

"I would like you all to stay for a lifetime, but alas, I regret that you all must leave by the end of this week."

Natasha nodded. "Sounds fair."

"I'm surprised Fury hasn't tried to even get with us. What if we return and nothing is there?"

"Don't be such a party poop, Streven." Tony grunted, sipping on his tea now. Why didn't Asgard have coffee?"

"I instructed for Heimdall to keep a close eye on your world. If anything has happened- he'd tell me."

"Thankyou." Steve nodded and ate some of the divine fruit infront of him. That was pretty nice of Thor.

"Enjoy your stay to the fullest my friends. I will grant you all a day of presence only this week. We will all do whatever." He yelled a'loud.

"Thankyou, Thor."

* * *

Loki was in his room, shaking like a crack addict going through withdrawl. He kept himself from running to Thor- but in that process he sobbed all night. It felt like his body was melting- his mind becoming so confused about everything. This morning, when going to take a shower? He couldn't remember how to work the heating system and water pipes… He had screamed in frustration and broke his mirror. Finding nothing to look in it anyway.

"Gods…" he moaned, his heart pounding against his chest, "What is happening- what is happening?"

_Clint Barton._

The name made him jerk.

_I need him- where has be been!?_

No. No- he hurt me. He raped me like that mad titan did- He hurt-

_Clint…_

My heart and body hurt so much.

I can't stop crying.

_I need to find that Hawk._

"NO!" Loki yelled, throwing his bed over with sudden strength, yelling in old norse and cursing everything around him. Eyes so red from crying and nose running.

Soon he found himself breaking everything- every breakable object and thick glass cut. Roaring in malice of everything. Everyone-

Turning to his door to maybe find more stuff to break out in the hallway- stood a man. Arrow in hand and eyes looking just as sick.

Everything happened so fast after that sighting-

* * *

He felt the hot body of the shorter (yes blissfully stronger) man on him- his thrown mattress being their lovely pillow for this. Hands taking the delicate prince's hips gently but firmly- he eased Loki's leather pants down… his fingers then tracing the still dull penis.

Loki bit his lip, eyes leaking his last few tears.

The pain and agony of everything was stopping.

The trickster through his hands around Clinton's stature, holding him closer. So close…

"S-so warm-" He yelped as Clinton grabbed his ass, digging his nails into the pale skin.

"I am, aren't I." He gruffed, leaning down to nibble on Loki's ear.

After moments of harsh kisses and lovebites to Loki, hands still on the prince's butt, he pulled the god's legs over his shoulders.

"We need eachother-" Clinton gasped, totally undoing Loki's clothes.

_The sick truth finally came out- hasn't it._

The two were wrecks without this _sick_ love they developed on that day.

_He's so warm, _swam Loki's mind.

_He's so fragile and tight, _Clinton thought dirtily.

Arms tangled in and out of eachother, both drunk in heat and their own drool. Pre-cum mixing into a sweet champagne of hell. Lubed up cocks sliding against eachother in a ramming pace. Hot breath on eachother's faces. No penetration yet- no… not yet..

They would take their time with this.

...

Because they literally could not wait-

Until these sick minds were alone.

Until those voices came to a still and were replaced with a sweet whisper of something better and greater then here.

The rush of such real words and tongues.

Upon their skin's and insides.

The wet fingers that reached them deeply inside

Their whorific selfish ways of dark revenge in each bite and slip of the teeth

Ears becoming dull to the outside window

So incapable of waiting for another's moan

Instead they take control in owns way

That sweet burn hitting Loki first

The thickness of the devil's own meat and lube inside him- opening his mind and body up with hatred and need.

What they want

Is this.


	16. Leaving

**woahhh- very late update guys! I had to get my other story going. Big things are happening in it.**

**I hope you guys enjoy this sad chapter. Please review! I love you all so much. Many Thanks.**

**Currently I'm looking for someone who would be willing to do a ****_private _****rp over email or pm here. Of course involving Loki and much saddness. Don't care slash- we'll of course discuss it. I always love good rp's with someone who enjoys the same interest. Box is always open! **

**Knowing i ****_might_**** get a few requests on that ^ I will respond to the first requests. **

**ENJOY.**

* * *

This sinful and unhealthy dance continued for the next four days.

Barton would arrive late at night to Loki's, always seeing the god curled up, sweating_, needing_.

Loki would look up, always seeing the man looking guilty of something… then he'd walk to him, taking him aggressively. Always having another move to blow Loki's mind.

Only one day did they have 'pillow talk', Barton starting it.

"What made you attack earth?" A sensitive yet bold question. Loki, still panting from their session and feeling a bit sore from the other day, barely heard until Barton turned his head to him.

"Well?"

….

"I thought it a good plan."

"It was a stupid plan."

"I know," Loki nodded, closing his eyes and turning away, clutching the sheets a bit. "I know."

Barton turned the god again, "You know now? Or you knew then."

"Why are you pestering me with these questions. The past is done…"

"The past may be over but it's never done."

…..

"Do you really wish to know the answer?"

Barton nodded.

The trickster sighing, turning to face Barton completely, rubbing his shoulder from nerves and from the sex. He spoke with a bit of a soft and childlike tongue, "Thanos promised me that I could prove my worth as a king that way. He said… well, He promised a lot of things." Loki left it at that, and Barton tried to figure it out then. What He came to was very sad and quite annoying. It all pointed to the past of Thor and Odin…

_'But he deserved his punishment' _The dark voice said. Clinton tensed and closed his eyes.

From then on that night they did it again, this time Loki on top, but still taking it.

* * *

Now came Thursday, the day before the Avengers went back. Loki had heard the news, and wasn't taking it well. He roamed around the library, glancing outside as he saw Barton and Romanov show off their fighting to the warriors three. All seemed to be enjoying themselves.

His green eyes looked at Clinton's body but never his face. He couldn't bring himself too.

Closing the book (which he never even started) he saw to join the others until Thor was right infront of him.

_When did he come in!?_

"Something troubles you."

"No," Loki gave a fake smile, "Why would you say tha-"

"I've been watching you from the door and that shelf for an hour now. You use to loose yourself in 10 books by then. The window has never interested you until now."

So much for his lies today.

"Your eyes spell much pain and confusion, brother." Thor sits where Loki was, holding the book and scanning the pages. Fiction novel. Something that Loki wouldn't even choose in the first place.

"I am just sad the Avengers are leaving us so soon."

"You've barely talked to them since your memories came back."

"That does not mean I will-"

"Brother, please."

Loki tensed up, wanting to flee to his dark room again. Like always these days.

"You are not the Loki I remember. You are quiet and shy now, you speak to no one but a selected few. You wait until dark to come out… you tell no more real lies. You don't confront the ones who don't believe in you and you play no tricks! I know what… Thanos has done… he is to blame for this. I know it will take time- but something is eating at you, do not deny that."

"Then what will you like me to say, THOR." Loki hissed, wanting to push the golden man away as far as he could. He didn't need to be reminded of that- ALL of that.

"I want you to admit what is on your mind. Please… I will listen."

"You never listened _before._"

Thor tried to counter that- But Loki was already out.

* * *

Back in his room that night, Loki waited and waited, the usual Barton not arriving.

His mind and body were growing restless… growing painful. He felt his eyes watering up.

_Where is he!? _Loki yelled inside, _This is our last night- WHERE IS HE._

_Where…._

Watching the door like a hawk, his green eyes spilled tears.

"Barton…" He moaned, standing and going to the door. Hoping it would open at any moment. ANY…

But it didn't. ours went by and the sun was just starting to rise.

Finally, a sleeply Loki lept forward from his bed, seeing the door open to reveal Barton.

_Finally indeed._

He gave the most pathetic and needy smile. "I thought you wouldn't come."

Clinton said nothing, putting his loved bow down, taking off his vest.

"You realize this will be out last night."

"I do not wish that, but yes, I do."

Loki began to undress his loose clothes, laying on his back as a half naked archer came over him, biting into his neck. "Why are you late?" Loki gasped, his arms reaching over his back, "I waited-"

He suddenly felt a sweet pain in his rear, and Loki yelped.

Barton looked at his face, "I was late because I hoped you were asleep. If you were, I wouldn't have waken you."

"You wished to not say goodby-" a first thrust and Loki silenced, inhaling sharply as Clinton grabbed the back of his neck.

"You and I both know it would've been easier that way…."

And with that their 'love' making continued. Loki moaning and begging for more- which this time Barton gave. Infact, he spilled inside about 3 times. Loki becoming limp and fulfilled at the end of it.

Barton and he laid, neither touching anymore, but both watching the sunrise.

"I need to go…"

"I thought you all were to leave at the end of the day," Loki began, glancing over.

"No, we leave when the sun is fully out." The man got up, gathering his clothes.

Loki just watched silently, barely sitting up. Neither exchanged words when Barton closed the door behind him…

But after a moment, He wept.

* * *

Thor smiled and held his friends tight in a group hug, Tony yelling that his back was now broken when he dropped them all. They all held their souvenirs close; Steve held a medal from Odin, pure gold and with rocks embellishing it that looked like diamonds. Tony held two bottles of Asgard's strongest alcohol to add to his whiskey 'collection', Natasha held a dagger, name carven into in old Norse writing and designs (given by Sif of course), and Banner held a woven cloth from his room. Everything was so detailed in this place, the designs in the cloth made him giddy alittle bit. It was also a pretty swamp green, which the other guy liked. Banner held nothing but an ivory looking arrow.

Loki never came to their goodbye, not bringing or wanting himself to do it.

He just laid in his bed, wishing now that none of this never happened.

* * *

**Loki... ;m;**

**So just to clarify, Barton and Loki weren't actually inlove. it was just a sick game brought by the dark voice in Clint's mind (which is indeed Thanos related). **

**GET READY FOR ANGST AND BREAKDOWNS.**


	17. A promise of a King

**Really quick update- haha! This chapter popped right into my head as I updated a few ago.**

**Botherly love and memories.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

On that day Loki surprised himself by going out and meeting Thor. The king sat on a grand fountain, chewing some strange substance called gum that Steve had brought him. Standing like his brother was a lady, Thor smiled and greeted… but then he mentioned on how he looked so…. deathly ill. Paler then before and hair uncombed, he reeked of a certain odor Thor was familiar with (but of course said nothing).

"Brother, you missed them leave."

Loki nodded, waving the comment off and sitting beside Thor, staring out to the sky and then the land he called 'home'. Offering some gum, Loki took it. It seemed to calm his growing anxiety. But he did not enjoy the chocolate mint flavor it claimed to be.

"What brings you to my company?"

Loki shrugged, turning to his more handsome and healthier looking partner.

"You intend to marry Sif rather then that mortal Jane. Why."

Ah yes… Jane. Thor's first real love and dying heart. He bled for her and the world she lived in.

"Before… our father died, one of his last wisdom's was for me to marry Sif. As you know we and the female warrior were fond of eachother when little. But… that changed and I became cocky." Thor looked to a poker face Loki, and continued, "Jane is special to me. But to lay or marry a misgardian? Too Taboo for this realm still. I leave her to another great man on earth. I know she will find one."

Loki nodded, bringing his knees up to his chest, pushing the gum to his cheek and not chewing anymore.

"Do you consider it a sin if you did choose her? Rather than the right path?"

"It is not a sin- but it is not wanted. Sif is a more honorable woman- to be honest. Why do you ask such deep questions, brother?"

Loki shook his head, telling Thor his 'whatever'.

The two continue to look over the view infront of them for the rest of the day it seems- hanging out around the fountain and the little green that surrounded it. In this time Loki orders an unusual amount of wine for himself too, and once Loki started side stepping and looking droopy by his 8th glass, Thor told the servant to just give him bitter grape juice. A drunk would take no notice to the change.

Tears spilled when Loki was laying on the grass on sunset.

"Thor…"

"I am still here, what is it?" Thor had his work brought to him, signing papers and talking to one from the court. Luckily Asgard was a well-kept Kingdom and none of the realms had anything going on with it right now- so it was _fairly _easy.

"Thor," Loki moaned again.

"I am here, behind you. Now what is it?"

"I have sinned," Loki began sobbing, his hands covering his face. Instantly worried- Thor rushed and crouched beside him

"_I have sinned"_ Well yeah- duh. But Loki was now free of his sin and divine punishment- so what could he be talking about?

"Loki, all your traces of ill-due have been done for. You've paid for it."

Loki shook his head.

"Then what is it?"

Loki shook his head again, dropping his hands from his face and screaming to the sky- eyes tightly closed but still raining tears down his cheeks.

"IT WAS EASIER WHEN I COULDN'T THINK- IT WAS EASIER!"

Thor didn't know Loki could scream that loud. Startled, he sat back a bit- but then came forward, attempting to put his arms around the upset partner-

"IT WAS EASIER!" Loki smacked Thor's hands away, sitting up and rubbing his eyes franticly. Stuttering in old norse and cursing every realm.

"Brother- please, everything is alright-"

"NOTHING IS ALRIGHT, THOR- CAN YOU SEE?" Loki looked to him, a hurt glare as he pointed to himself. "I WILL never BE THE SAME. I WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS- ALWAYS."

_Without him._

Loki takes a breath, but still yells, "Many say my punishment was horrid but do you think they wanted me back here!? Do you think I do not hear their laughter and snickers to my face!? I am worthless! I always was- You cannot say otherwise! What Thanos did to me was probably the best blessing I'd had in all my life-"

"Do not speak such foolish words!"

Loki shook his head, clenching the dirt and grass bellow him.

"Loki, calm down… brother!" He had begun pulling his hair out. Thor yelled and tugged at his hands, "Loki enough! Stop this!"

_It was so much easier with him. With Barton- he would take all these thoughts away from me. I was at peace- and now he will never return!_

_I'll never see him…_

Loki had fallen into Thor's arms, clutching the thicker man like mad, cursing again at everything as he choked on his tears.

Thor did not know what troubled Loki so. What was going on in his mind… but he intended to get to the bottom of it. Even if his first priority by rule was his Kingdom, that was not Thor's way. Family came first… and Loki was lost. He needed to see to it that his baby brother got over this ghastly sickness of the mind.

.

.

.

He cradled his brother until he was finally silent.

Kissing his forehead as he would when a child.

* * *

_"Why won't Loki stop crying, Mother? He keeps me awake at night." The young blonde asked, watching his elder woman cradle his baby brother in her arms. Secretly jealous from the lack of attention, he tugged on his mothers long delicate dress, grunting._

_"Thor, mind you. Your brother is finally asleep."_

_Grumbling, he let go. Watching his beloved mom carry Loki with her to a comfy chair, setting herself in it and letting the babe suck on her thumb as if nursing._

_"How come he has black hair?" Thor whispered, coming close to peek over. His brother was so…. tiny and weak looking. This was his competition for the throne of his father? Really?_

_"Because somewhere in our family, there was a girl or boy with raven hair. So now he carries it." Frigga was quick with her answer._

_"How come he had it and not me?"_

_"Because the gods chose it to be this way."_

_Nodding, it all made sense. He sat on the floor beside his mother, taking childs book and reading it silently. Rather, he was looking at the pictures. He learned better that way._

_After a while, Frigga asked, "Do you want to hold him, my child?"_

_Thor had been strictly ordered to not touch his baby brother- he was a delicate thing. Mother always near and maids washing him up. But now the rules had suddenly been broken by his Mothers words. He was being offered to finally touch his baby brother._

_"r-really?" Thor asked, face growing in a nervous smile, blue eyes glowing._

_"I think you to be old and wise enough to handle him. He is barely asleep." The wise woman smiled, getting up and then carefully seating herself on the floor with her first born._

_"You best be careful with him or you will hear Odin's final word on it." She warned with a serious tone. Last week Thor had gotten a mean spank for going in his brother room without permission or guidance._

_Nodding, Thor put out his eager hands, having his light dark haired brother in his tiny hands. Now Loki didn't seem too tiny. Infact- he was actually heavy…_

_Frigga giggled at the noticeable overwhelmed son._

_Loki opened his tired and watchful eyes, green glowing into the ocean blue ones above him._

_The queen marveled at the bond that was forming._

_And suddenly to the young boy, all that crying and attention taking that Loki did didn't seem so big or bothersome._

_"His eyes are green…" Thor whispered the obvious._

_"That they are."_

_"They're like grass."_

_Frigga held in a snort at that comment._

_Thor watched his brother move a bit, eyes closing, then falling asleep. Leaning down, the blonde rested his young lips on the soft forehead before him, giving his baby brother a gentle kiss as he fell into a dream._

_The young boy made a plan that night, no matter if a punishment would come, to make a visit to Loki's room before mother or any maid._


	18. The unexpected help 2

_"Brother, what are you doing?" Thor asked, eating some cake that he stole from the cook and bakers basement. His makeshift play sword dragged against the marble floors, making an irritating screech. It also looked like Thor got into a fight somewhere- someone. Loki couldn't care less._

_"I'm practicing my magic." Loki showed him, making some blue fire._

_Thor gasped, "Loki- that's so cool! Aren't you burning?"_

_Proud of a compliment, Loki grinned and shook his head, he even made the fire bigger- causing Thor to jump back in shock and awe. "No- it actually feels cool. You can touch it if you want."_

_"No way- I'll hurt!"_

_"Thor, don't be afraiiiid," Loki teased, knowing this was Thor weakness._

_Thor huffed, blue eyes turning thunderous. He reaches for Loki's hand, holding it still despite Loki's insult. Reaching his hand in, the green fire is like cool air… Happy with his result and proving Loki wrong._

_"Let go of my hand, Thor! Your hurting me!"_

_Stepping back, Thor eats his cake with a wolfish , Loki turns away. "You have many scrapes on you. Did you get in a fight with Sif again?"_

_"No, this time Volstagg."_

_"Volstagg? But you two have never faught. What happened?"_

_Thor chuckled, "Oh- brother! It wasn't a real was a sparr. Remember what Father taught us the other day?"_

_"I was not there for that fighting lesson, remember?" Loki pointed out, looking sour now. He continued to play with his little green fire, sighing as it turned back to blue. He had not been invited to that lesson- and even if he was, he wouldn't join it. From toddler age, people could tell he was not the brave warrior type. Why was Father still insisting on him trying out for it then? _

_"Oh, that's right." Thor nodded, taking a seat next to his brother. Looking around, Thor noticed that Loki changed his hang out place by the week. Thor always sat in the adult's weapon vault and pretended to be a god of war- thrashing about (but never touching the valuable objects hanged on the wall or ceiling). But Loki…. He always changed. "Say Loki, why are you under a bridge today?"_

_"Because it was quiet and welcoming. I also found a huddle of bats living here, see?" Loki pointed up in a dark corner of the stone and cavelike bridge, and in that corner was a living bundle of little bats. _

_"Vial creatures! Mother hates them."_

_"I do not see why. They're quiet and blind and only eat bugs." Loki said, watching as one took flight to find a more roomy patch for him to sleep on. _

_Thor watched this as well, tilting his head. "Why do you think they hate the light?"_

_Loki usually had many answers to many of Thor's questions… but this time, no. Why did Bats hate the light? Why did they like the night to fly? _

_"I dunno." Loki tilted his head like Thor._

_…. After awhile of watching these things and then Loki's blue fire, both stood up simultaneously. _

_"You are hungry too?"_

_"I'm rather thirsty." _

_"Let us go! You can show Mother and Father that neat blue fire like you did me."_

_Loki figited as they walked to that comment. Odin never paid mind enough to see Loki's magic. Nor did he approve of it. _

_"You think Mother will like it?" He asked timidly. Frigga was more sensitive to Loki's achievements, and much more understanding. Odin would just watch and then ask if Loki would like to join him in a spar later- which basicly meant 'You shoudn't be doing this devil work- come rage in battle like your brother.'_

_Knowing this fact of their parents, Thor nodded. "Yes! You know she loved it when last time you made flowers appear out of dirt for her."_

_Smiling, Loki was off, and Thor running behind him._

_Both brothers collapsed on one another once in their parents chambers, laughing and smacking eachother. They had started a race halfway here._

_Smiling at her sons, Frigga came first. "My dears, what brings you in?"_

_"Loki can do something so cool!"_

_Intrigued, "Can he? Why Loki, is it something magical again?"_

_Loki excitedly nodded, "D-do you want to see?" He was noticeably more out of breath then Thor._

_"Of course my dear, but how about we all eat and drink first, yes? Some important guests are arriving, and we must not keep them wait. OH- look at how dirty you both are now! Undress. I will have your maids come and make you more presentable."_

_Nodding, and with no shame or care, Both undressed butt naked. Frigga made Thor go to the bath to get rinsed off a bit and his scrapes cleaned. _

_Loki sat and waited quietly, marveling as his mother changed dresses. How many outfits did she have? All were so beautiful and extravagant and and- so pretty! Loki sometimes secretly wished he was a female, just wanting to feel pretty as he knew Mommy always did… sometimes boys clothes were so boring._

_Sensing her sons stare, Frigga looked back and smiled. "My dear, what is it?"_

_"You're really beautiful."_

_"Thankyou, and so are you."_

_Loki laughed, "Boys can't be beautiful!"_

_"and why not?" She asked as tying her hair up in diamond clips and flower looking things._

_"Because girls are only beautiful. Boys are handsome." Loki defended, even if he blushed and cared for his mother's comment on him._

_"I think boys can sometimes be beautiful. Remember that fairy king that came here?"_

_Loki nods. It wasn't a fairy king- rather a dramatic elf looking prince but… yes. He was beautiful._

_He could just remember when the royal man walked in. He was decorated in silver and white fitting clothes, long hair like a womans and a charming crown that looked like ruby flowers._

_"He was pretty." Loki says, blushing._

_Frigga laughs and nods, "See? Some men can be beautiful."_

_Learning his lesson as the maids came to give him fresh new clothes, Loki stands and goes to them in the corner- being dressed delicately. While this happends, Thor comes and gets dressed himself._

_"Brother- you look good in that shade of green and gold!" Thor loudly says, making the younger retreat and blush a bit._

* * *

"Brother, I always enjoyed you in that dark green. What brings you here?" Thor asks, standing to greet his younger brother as he enters the royal court. Thor was about to begin a meeting with the counsel.

"I wish to listen in?"

"Ah- you do?" Thor asks, moving his head back a bit at the statement.

"Why does this surprise you?"

_Because you've been cooped up in your room this whole week. Only coming out to eat with me and my friends…_

"It is just… so sudden. Do you know what the topic is today?"

"The peasants and farmers near the fields are on-going a drought, and you must decide if you should use your power to bring rain or leave it to natures hand."

_So apparently you have been listening…_

"And what is your opinion?" Thor asks, straightening some papers infront of him.

"I think it should be handled by you. Nature hasn't sent them mercy for a long time. What harm done by you sending a good storm now'n' then?" Loki sits in a chair by Thor- intended for Sif. But the King wouldn't make a comment on it. He was happy that Loki could be breaking out of his shell.

"The elders think otherwise."

"The elders always think otherwise."

Thor laughs and nods.

Both brothers sit side by side, Thor in the grand chair and Loki in a smaller one (intended for prince's or queens on listening.), both watching as the guests and royals arrive one by one. Their names called out as they enter the grand doors, and sit silently.

But you could hear (even if not said) what they were saying.

'Why is that traitor here?'

'It looks as if he is ill… is he okay?'

'That seat was for Sif. How dare he take it?'

Some defenses on Loki's side, but most opposed him.

Loki just bowed his head to the glares that he was getting, not strong enough still to push those away. He sits quietly, and then looks up once Fandral sat next to him.

"My- Loki! What a grand sight, how are you?"

"I am well… thankyou." Loki nods and speaks quietly- seeming to already want to go. Thor nudges his shoulder secretly to give him some encouragement- and to stop looking like a turtle hiding in its shell.

And the heated debate begins.

Loki sits and listens, but none ask for his opinion or even a comment. Figures. Most like him silent…

Bowing his head again to avoid a stubborn old mans gaze… Fandral speaks to him.

"My Prince, you look better than the other day. Have you been resting a lot?"

Loki nods, barely looking at him.

Fandral nods and pauses to listen to Thor speak but then trying to bring this man out of his shell, he continues. "What have you been doing?"

_Why does the playboy of Asgard insist on talking to me when an important topic is here?_

"I have been sleeping a lot… reading, doing little spells of healing."

"Speak up."

Loki, making a face at the sudden command, fully meets Fandral's face. "excuse me?"

"Speak up, I said. I can barely here you when your head and hair is down. You are a prince, and shouldn't lay your head so low because a few old farts speak ill to your way."

"I- I do not-"

"Yes, you do." Fandral insists. "But having your head to mine now makes a difference, yes?"

Like a confused child, Loki just nods… unsure of what to make of this archer right now.

And just like that, they stop talking and continue on with the table debate. But Thor's side is won- and he claims that he will send a storm to their way by daylight tomorrow.

With the main business done today and the sun still young in the sky, Thor is out to sparr with his friends and train in the great hall of warriors. Loki lingers behind, knowing he will speed off to a quiet place. In the past he use to come and just watch, secretly cheering on his favoirite of the day and-

"Would you like to come with us?"

Ah, yes, Thor was asking. But when Loki looks up, it was Fandral.

Fandral was asking him to _come_… to _join_ them. "A-ah… pardon?"

"Would you like to watch us?"

"I… I intend to hit my library…" Loki steps back, not liking those eyes on him in such an inviting matter. It was the lack of being wanted making him instantly shy away.

"You always hit the library… but you could bring a book if you wish. Like old times, yes?"

The others just wait and watch, Sif and Hogun already expecting the god to deny and run off like a mouse but-

"Okay." It was shy and timid- not the old Loki. But Thor marveled at the fact that Fandral was making him come.

And Loki? He didn't know why he chose either but… something about Fandral made it so… inviting. He was treating him like a normal person again. Like… Like he was his old self.

And Gods… how desperately the trickster wanted to turn back time.

* * *

_Loki sat alone under the bridge again, and it was night. Dark around him… the bats gone and feasting on moths and beetles and whatever they could find. And here was the little liesmith crying his heart out. Snot and drool and tears mixing on his face with great wrath. The boy desperately tried to wipe his face now'n then but it does no good. _

_And to top it all off- because of the crying… he now has a heacache._

_The boy sits and sniffles like this for some time, not wanting to stop. Until he here's footsteps behind him and he becomes silent, scooting under the bridge._

_'Father has come to punish me more!' Loki screamed in his head. 'He'll flog me again!'_

_But it wasn't a guard or Odin himself. It was someone… small. Like him._

_"Loki! Are you here?"_

_It had to be Thor… but no, that wasn't Thor's voice. Thor didn't sound that polite and charming…_

_"Loki!" It calls again._

_…. Fandral?_

_Crawling out, Loki shows his torn face in the moonlight, causing a gasp from Fandral._

_"Loki!" He yells, crouching down immediately. It looked as if he was in his sleepwear, and had his toy bow behind him. "Loki- everyone is looking for you. Your mother is in tears! What are you doing out here so far at night?"_

_"I bet you heard!" Loki cries out, accusing._

_"I only heard alittle bit… your… your father got mad at you?"_

_Loki nods and wipes his eyes, sniffing up some lingering snot. "He hates what I do."_

_"What you do?"_

_"My magic. He hates it. I showed mother and she laughed but—He came in and yelled at me!" and then spanked the living shit out of Loki. It was actually quite traumatizing._

_… "I am sorry to hear that." Fandral sat beside the prince, watching him cry a bit more. "If you whine like this so much- you'll throw up." He warns, sounding worried._

_"I care not!" Loki screams to the world stubbornly._

_Fandral nods and waits, and hears a gag and cough- then a 'blech' sound… "see?" he whispers, bringing Loki upwright then over, rubbing his back as he continues to throw up._

_Loki leans into the young archer's touch, trying to cry some more but he couldn't. Now his mouth was sick and he was sick and his head hurt and now… now he wanted his Mommy. Or even Thor._

_"F-F—Fandral?"_

_"yeah?"_

_"Can we go back to the castle?" He looks up, green eyes meeting soft greyish blue ones._

_A soft smile from the dashing boy._

_"Of course."_

…..

* * *

**C-Can you all see what's happening here? ;/3/;**


	19. Undone and found

**Hello all! Yay for quick updates once again :) and another long chapter.**

**But this one is sad.**

**Warning for non-con and Loki angst.**

**Poor thing :( when will he get better?**

**Also! I will be starting a new Fanfic staring Loki- but this time...****_ kid_**** Loki :) It should be up this weekend or Monday. Like many of my fanfics- it's sad and deals with mature things. So you're already warned for that.**

**Please review and like! I always love responding.**

**enjoy!**

* * *

Loki sat silently, dull green eyes keeping on his brother as he dodged Hogun's death swings and Volstagg's club. It seemed that Thor had mastered every move his friends made- and came back with it tenfold. Secretly, he always routed for his brother. Even now, when alone and depressed, he wanted his King to win. But now- today? He was routing for someone different- someone he never really gave a second glance. Not since he was like…. 9.

Fandral. That cocky playboy for a warrior… the one who always suggested a drinking challenge and Thor then proceeded. The one when teen, he'd always tease Loki for having a skinny body and no girlfriend. The one who was the 2nd best trickster next to him.

_The one who invited him here. With them… just like old times._

Daydreaming and thinking too much, he was caught off guard by Sif's voice calling to him.

"Loki. Loki. …. Loki. Loki! Hey- Loki! Hello- Loki Odinson!"

The trickster jerked his head up, wide eyed and caught off guard.

"Would you get us some water?" Sif asked coldly as she wiped her head with a rag. A comment could be expected from such a woman. Sif never liked Loki. Ever.

"O-oh.. um.."

"Please hurry, everyone is tired. Especially Thor." She turned, her cape flicking Loki in the face as she stalked down to tend to a happy group.

Sitting up and a tad bit bored, Loki found himself fetching some water for the group…

* * *

.

.

.

While walking, his head was down and hair in his face, arms tight against his chest as he pulled on his long sleeves. Thinking about his past- about Thanos… (a shudder to those thoughts) about Odin who left so quickly it seemed almost impossible, about Thor and how he was being such a great king… how Sif was going to marry his brother and probably have a ton of young Thor's running around, about how he should finish that book he was working on. …..- And then suddenly remembered that the way for the water was not this long until-

Oof!

Loki fell to the ground with a small yelp, eyes darting to look up on who he bumped into.

"My prince, I am so sorry, are you alright?" a young guard said, reaching down and helping the trickster up. Loki nodded, pushing some of his raven hair back.

"I am alright, thankyou… I…" Loki turned and gazed around where he was. Stone walls, a droopy grey color covering everything… and a plop of water landed on his face.

Gods how did he end up here?

Turning around to once again say thankyou to the guard, he wasn't there anymore. Something wasn't right…

"Hello….?" He called out, timidly taking a step towards the end of the room where it became darker. Nothing called out back. "Hello! Reveal yourself!"

_'Are you sure you want that, little runt?'_

No…

'_To think it was so easy to lead you here, yes? Too easy. Your mind must truly be in shambles.' _A laugh.

N-no.

'_If you keep saying no, I won't go anywhere.'_

Loki shook his head and kept repeating 'no' in his head. Backing up to the door he came in this room- but tripping on an un-even stone.

That dreadful and all too familiar laugh came echoing again, and a whimper from Loki signaled something horrible was about to happen.

"P-Please leave me!" He shouted to nothing.

_'And why would I do that?' _

Something moved in the shadows. The trickster jerked back, butt still on the ground and his hands gripping the cold stones. _Where is Thor!? _He franticly thought.

'_Do not look so sad… I am not actually here. You know I could not leave for such a teasing and pitiful matter, could I?' _

"Leave me alone!" Loki shouted once more, eyes already threatening tears.

'_Why?' Thanos teased, 'Why would I leave my favoirite little Jotun runt alone? You knew I could not just leave you so quickly like that.'_

"Please!" Loki shook his head, hands pulling his hair. Thanos was inside his head. He was still there- after all this time! After Clinton- after Thor! HE WAS STILL THERE. HE WAS THERE ALL ALONG.

_'SILENCE.' _Thanos voice boomed, causing the room to shake a bit. Loki instantly stilled, eyes wide and searching for the voice again- but when his green eyes trailed the dark corner, two men came out. That young guard and another came out. A light of hope sparked in Loki's torn mind.

"Guards- Guards help! Thanos is here!" He spoke widly, getting up and almost tripping as he ran to them.

"What are you talking abot, Prince? No one is here." One spoke, a bit too calmly for such a situation… but Loki took no notice. Loki shook his head, about to say something until he was pushed to the ground by one, yelping again as he hit the ground. "wh-what do you—"

He was cut off, the guard crouching to him and stroking his cheek, causing Loki to freeze at the touch.

"No one is here, little Prince." The guard tilts his head. Brown eyes meeting Green, "Only we are."

"You did not hear him!? He was here- he was…" Loki pleads, but his upset words are only forgotten when the other guard comes behind Loki, rubbing his shoulders and back.

"No one is here, Prince Loki. Only us, don't you see?"

Leaning over, the young steals a kiss, causing Loki to be truly silent and still.

_Wh-what are they doing?!_

From behind, a kiss to his cheek and neck, lightly pulling on his hair.

_Stop!_

But he can't speak or yell- he's taken over by someones lips. He feels the warmth of another behind and… and… feeling him up so good… The others tongue pushes its way through Loki's lips, stealing his mouth. Loki gives a whine, but that only encourages his molesters.

"My sweet prince, who knew your skin would be as soft as a womans?" A kiss to his neck again. "My name is Beinir and he who has your lips is Edvard."

Loki whimpers more, some tears leaking from his cheeks as he feels his shirt being ripped off from him.

Gasping once Edvard was done with the kiss, he looks up to meet the man's eyes. "P-please! Unhand me- Thor will hear about this!" Edvard only laughs and pushes Loki to the ground, getting on top of him as Beinir undressed. "Oh, my dear Prince. Do not worry. We do not intend to abuse you."

"You already are!" Loki yells, trying to kick Ed away and only to get a forced kiss in return. Along with that, he can feel Edvard's hand go down within his pants and palm his privates.

"There we are, little Prince. Now doesn't that feel nice?" Beinir asks, sitting behind the two occupied men and watching. Loki only shakes his head.

"Well if you have that attitude It won't be." Edvard hisses, grabbing Loki's prick and tugging on it hard- causing a yelp and sob from the trickster. "See? Now that hurt, didn't it. But if you be quiet and let us take what we want, you'll feel so much better. We promise. After all… isn't that what you did with Sir Barton?"

Loki stills instantly, eyes widening as he looks to the two guards.

"Ahaha… what. You think you two kept that a good secret? You forget gossip and news travels fast amongst the servants and maids. We know everything."

Beinir adds, "And you're lucky none of us told your gracious brother or his friends. You owe us."

_How dare these guards make threats!? I am the Prince here! _Edvard undoes his and Loki's pants, going down and giving the gods dick a little lick. _They can't… they won't!_

"Please let me go…" Loki sobs, only for his mouth to be taken over by Beinir's.

"Now now, my Prince… what did I just say, Hmm?"

_I-t.. It will be over soon… _The god tells himself, not helping but crying as they pursue their work and his pride. _They'll be quick… oh gods, please be quick. Ah! _

_Oh god please be quick! Please!_

And soon that bitter pain started. Ed was the first to take him.

_Please hurry up… please…_ Loki couldn't stop crying. Even if the treatment was gentle enough for the pain to subside into something a bit sweeter. But that didn't take away the fact that they were raping him. Taking him like some cheap whore- with no payment other than an orgasm.

"shh shhh, my Prince. Calm yourself. It does not hurt, does it?" Beinir asked as he granted Loki's body with many kisses as Ed still worked. Loki shook his head, sniffing.

"Then why do you cry so?"

"P-Please…" Loki could only manage that as Edvard took him harder and harder. The guard obviously getting close to his release.

"Do not worry. I will be better than Ed," Beinir promised, stealing a kiss from Loki as his turn was up next.

Indeed- the god had to admit he was better but… now he felt sick. He felt so sick.

"Haha!" The two laughed. "Now weren't we better than that mortal?"

"My My, Edvard, I did not know you had so many moves. It appeared that Loki did not care for it though."

"You lie, I was the best. Isn't that right Loki? Dear? Get up off the ground."

"Oh, leave him. He is only in awe of our two members."

Laughing.

_They were laughing at him._

Loki only lay on the stone cold ground, tears having run out and his sickness getting worse.

_Please go away… Please. Oh god- I feel so sick. I'm going to throw up…_

_Where is Thor? Where is Mother—_

A sob.

Closing his eyes, he pleaded that they would leave soon. But they didn't. They talked and talked and talked about Clinton, reminding Loki of his horrible past with that man… and then they talked about the dead king and how Thor was a great one- but still wonderfully oblivious to let them do this.

_Please… Please leave…! PLEASE LEAVE!_

Loki wanted to disappear and just die right there as they laughed some more.

.

.

.

.

"Where is my brother, Sif!? He could have not gone this far for water." Thor growled in the hallway, opening every door he could find.

The young woman only shook her head. "Thor- if you think I was behind this, then your mistaken! I simply asked for him to go get water-"

"And that!" Thor turned around, pointing to her. "How dare you ask my sick brother to fetch water like some dog!? You know he is un-well! Why treat him like a mere slave due to your petty grudge against him!?"

Sif gaped at the accusation- which was basicly true. "How dare you!" She cried.

"No. How dare you." Thor pointed, his other fist clenched.

Fandral only sat behind, watching the conflict unfold infront of him. But he was thinking if they ever wanted to find the young broken prince- yelling like this would only be pushing him away.

Seeing how the fight wasn't stopping, the archer drifted off to a new hallway near a storage facility. The wonderful carved marble and golden walls soon faded into an old old old (did I say old?) part of the castle… back when the gods were just starting in this universe. Back then- everything was made of sea stone and held together with sturdy clay.

But what could Loki be doing all the way here?

Fandral crept along, feeling a slight chill as he kept his pace. This place was definitely haunted.

Turning a corner, he caught some laughing. Muffled and crazed sounding, he head toward it.

And then- he began to hear something he knew he was not supposed to.

…..

* * *

Loki hid his face against the cold stone, whimpering as apparently he still had some tears left to be spilled. His skin felt bruised and tired- his soul weak and on the verge of being totally broken. And he still couldn't help thinking on how he got to here… how he ended up in such a low place.

It all began with jealousy, didn't it?

And then bitter hatred to the ones that raised him so.

And then failure to prove to those parents of his… and then hope…

Only to be dropped back on the grounds like some half dead animal.

Well. If that was going to be the case, then maybe he belonged here! Maybe he'd just stay in this cold spot of the castle and make it his home. More than half of Asgard hated he was here… so maybe he'd just hide. He'll hide and weep forever.

_Barton… I need you. _He sang sadly in his head over and over again. What was so different about that mortal that made him feel so full? Was the man a walking drug or something?

_Someone help me…._

_'No one will help you. Stop crying out for what cannot be true.'_

_Please go away! Why do you insist on staying in my head!_

_'Because this is your punishment for failing me. For failing Odin. For being an embarrassment… For being an unwanted Jotun ru-'_

"Loki!"

The god twitched and opened his eyes, surprised at the sudden raise of voice.

"Loki!"

_Brother? _

"Loki are you alright?!"

_No…_

"Loki please speak to me! Open your eyes and look at me! Hey!"

A rub of the back that was all too familiar.

_Fandral….? _The trickster looked up, eyes wide and a bit brighter as he met the baby blue ones that the archer had. "Fan… dral?" He gasped, swallowing his dry throat.

"Loki…" Fandral moaned, coming to his knees and some blood on his face.

The god looked around, panic rising in his heart as he saw his assaulters dead and silent.

_They were finally silent._

"Fandral?" Loki gulped once more, not taking his pained eyes off the dead corpses.

"Loki, my prince, I am here. Thor is coming, I swear on it."

And suddenly the god was lifted off the ground, carried Bridal style by this man. But he had no room to complain.

"Wh… why are you here?" His voice was so quiet now…

Fandral soffed, "Why am I here? Because you went missing the entire day!"

"So." Loki whispered in sorrow, turning his face to the ground as a wet stone turned into grand marble.

"So?! Loki- how could you say that… everyone was worried! Thor was practically breaking down!"

Not having the strength to argue with the warrior, Loki suddenly passed out in his arms. Head going limp and arms falling, Fandral ran to the nearest healer.

He may have been safe in these arms and blankets now… but Thanos was still there. Still haunting him.

And it would take _years_ for him to leave….

* * *

**At last- we are coming near the end people :c lets see if Thor and Fandral can stop Loki from all this sorrow. And lets see if Loki can tell the truth on what he's feeling- and what happened.**


	20. The little notes in the books

**woah- here we go guys! **

**This chapter was pretty fun and sad to write. I do hope you all enjoy it. And as a request- I want some feedback through the whole story and up til now! I love reviews- and I want to know what you guys think. :) please and thankyou.**

**My new Loki fic is up, so also check that out 3 he is but a child in it.**

* * *

"I am here, brother, do not fret." Thor cooed, petting his brother's hair like a parent would to their sick child. "You stress yourself so, then the fever will not go down."

Loki shifted, moaning softly as his body felt like it was lava- ever hot and flowing slowly. He barely heard Thor's words, but knew it was he. Ever since Fandral had carried him- healers doing what they could… he had a high fever. Night and day it would not budge from a 104.

Feeling something cold on him gave Loki little comfort, but it was better than nothing. Thor sat a damp, ice water cloth on his head, watching as drops slid down his brother's face. And then Loki felt a nice grip on his hand, and desperately, Loki tried to squeeze back.

His mind was spinning in and out of blurred hallucinations and dreams. Therefore, Thor had never left his side. Loki's 'screams' were too much to bear. Even if the council needed their King for the throne and Asgard- he couldn't bring himself to leave. Loki shouldn't be alone.

Not anymore.

.

.

A knock came to the door, and before Thor could ask who it was, Sif and Fandral came in. Both looking un-pleased and stressed. "Thor," Sif began, "You have not sat on your throne for three whole days. A king should not even be without his people for one."

"I cannot leave my brother." Thor quickly defended, but kept his voice down.

"But you cannot leave your people. Even your Mother agrees, Thor." Sif sighed, watching as the frail pale faced sack of bones struggled to sleep and cope behind her lover.

"I will look after him, if you wish." Fandral offered.

"Oh, but don't you have any women to do?" Thor growled, now glaring at the two. Sif gasped, not expecting such backlash from him…

"Thor!" she yelled, coming over and getting right in his face. "You should be glad he _wants_ to help. It seems that only you and he want to help _Loki_ these days!"

Fandral moved his body less close to the now fighting couple, andby Loki's other side.

All the yelling was clearly bothering him. The god moved and whimpered, hand searching for Thor's again. Eyes hazed and glazed from the strong medicine he had, and from the sickness itself.

"Thor! You must go!"

"Do not raise your voice to me- you are not my mother- Nor my wife yet!"

"You should learn to respect women other than that!"

"Tell me why the Council needs a King when my own brother is near death!"

"You and I both know he is not near Death. Thor."

"But he was. I cannot fail him anymore- don't you realize this!?"

"Thor! Your family may be important but your Kingdom is better!"

.

.

Eventually Thor was one over by Sif, and growled as he saw the playboy holding his brother's hand. But… he was led out, and getting briefed on everything he missed (which actually wasn't much). He looked back into the room, watching as Loki moaned more in pain. His little brother could sense that Tor was gone- his protection-

"Mmn!" Loki took his hand away from the new and un-familiar one, moving along the bed and gasping as he stressed his body.

"My Prince," Fandral tried to calm him. "My Prince, you must calm yourself. Thor will return." More moaning and frail kicking. Loki was scared.

Moving closer and sighing, despite Loki's wishes, he takes his head and puts his firm hand behind Loki's neck- and the god instantly stills. This always seemed to work… it always calmed him and made him listen. Weather the hand was from Frigga (the one who perfected the art), The Allfather, Thor, or even he.

.

.

.

_"Thor- get off! I'm trying to read!" A teen Loki screeched, kicking Thor off and wanting no fights or brawls today. Thor laughed, un-willing to listen to his weaker brother's pleas. The two mounted on eachother- Thor just laughing away as his green brother put up a pitiful fight._

_Hearing the commotion, The Allmother wondered out, and was disappointed at the scene she two sons should not be fighting with such rage (mostly from Loki) and for fun. Fighting and Sparring was not a joke anymore. Just like the kids were not innocent children. _

_Day by Day, Odin was promising great battles with them and violence- all leading up to becoming King. Loki enjoyed none of it, and Thor thought it all fun and a joke._

_"My boys!" She rang her firm voice, the two youngsters stopping at once and going their separate stances. "Do not think I did not see the most of it!" he said as she came to the two. _

_"Mother- you look very beautiful today." Thor started, wiping some blood from Loki's nails off his cheek._

_"Do not start, Thor. I know you are the one that always picks the fight, leaving Loki in stress." _

_"It is not my fault that he cannot fight!" The cruel golden brother laughed, snickering as Loki was burning mad and tears threatening to stream down his face._

_With that mean comment, Thor met a hand from his own mother and whimpered. His cheek now burning- he knew that Odin would then answer to his actions as well. "Go to your father, and I will join shortly." His mother growled._

_There was nothing more frightening than a Mother's scorn or disappointment._

_Loki and Frigga watched as a nervous so walked away and out of sight. Quickly wanting to avoid his own situation, he grabbed his book and began to run- until he felt a strong grip to his shoulder. Turning around, Loki looked to the eyes of his mother._

_"Did Thor start it?" she asked, watching as Loki's fists clenched in frustration._

_"Yes." He mumbled, speaking through his teeth._

_Loki had a lot more bruises and bleeding scratches then Thor did._

_Frigga sat on a rock, patting it next to her. Loki obediently sat, not wanting his mother to see him cry so easily. Whenever he got so mad- so frustrated- he always cried. He held a lot of things in, and Frigga knew that._

_"My son," she began, petting the back of his head. Loki wiped his eyes, and submitted into her touch. "You should not let that petty warrior trouble you so."_

_Loki nodded wiping his eyes more and scooted towards his mother. He hated how he was so weak compared to Thor. And he hated how it was considered 'cheating' when using magic in battle._

_Odin said that himself._

_"Come, would you like to join me for lunch?" She moved her hand to his neck, stroking It then using it to pull him closer, so that their shoulders were touching._

_"Y-yes…"_

_"Okay," Frigga smiled sadly, wiping away some nasty blood stains from his jaw. "But first, let us get you cleaned up. Yes?"_

.

.

.

Loki had stilled in Fandral's touch, panting hard and drinking water when needed. It seemed that Fandral was taking a liking to the young god- somehow… somewhere. But why now?

And sometimes questions can't really be answered.

He watched Loki as the prince drifted off into a peaceful seemingly sleep. Only twitching when a cold rag was applied to his head and neck, sometimes shoulders.

Fandral had his suspicions on Loki still, and who wouldn't? Loki had committed crimes that should have the punishment be execution. Odin, in all his glory, had ordered it not so.

Pushing back some of the black hair, Fandral looked to see the scar where Loki's brain had been mutilated. He cringed.

"You are lucky, you know." He whispered, sitting back in his chair and drinking some water for his own use. "You could have never healed."

Sometimes even magic, combined with time, could not heal wounds such as this.

.

.

Bored, Fandral sat around and finally got up, looking around in Loki's chambers. Lots and Lots of books, of course. But then- when he opened some, he found little pieces of paper with writing on them.

….

Terrible messages- spread across his room. All dating back to when Loki could write.

…..

**_Today I made sparkles out of paper, _**One wrote, dating back to when he was 4.

.

**_Odin got mad at Thor for going in my room. _**Age 4, rainy day, near Thor's 7th birthday.

.

**_I finished my first book today, and father tried to teach me how to swing a sword. I almost cut my finger, but it was okay. Mommy got mad at Father for being rough about it._**

**_Thor succeeded though. _**Age 6.

.

**_Father isn't teaching me much as Thor is. But today I made green fire! It doesn't burn me. Mother think's it's very pretty. Thor was excited about it too. I did not show father, because I know he will just yell at me for using such magic. _**Age 6.

.

**_Thor kicked me in the stomach because I said no for him wanting to barrow one of my books. But he cannot read well anyway. So why does he come in my room and think he can take what he wants? His arrogance is troublesome. Luckily mom punished him. _**Age 8.

.

**_Today I met some of Thor's friends. Sif, Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg. They are quite rough like Thor is, and Sif seemed to not like me on the spot. I will try and play with them more often. _**Age 9.

.

**_I showed father my latest creating in Magic- I was beaten. _**Age 9.

.

**_I do believe Thor stole one of my books. I cannot find it anywhere. He better bring it back by tomorrow or I will tell Odin myself. It is very old and mystic looking. I cannot read the whole thing- since the language is ancient and special. But I am trying._**

**_It did teach me how to heal broken bones and cuts, so I must not loose it or have it to Thor. _**Age 11.

.

**_Thor burned it. _**Age 11, the day after.

.

**_Mother and Father said I should stop practicing magic and start archery. They said that is the best sport for someone as lean and flexible as me. Maybe Fandral could teach me? I am not sure yet. Magic comes easily as breathing to a babe. I do not just want to give it up… _**Age 13.

.

**_Today father told us about how me and Thor will become kings. I plan to be the best and most noble King ever! _**Age 13.

.

**_Father beat me and threatened to sew my lips for my lying and magic… _**Age 13.

.

**_Thor made fun of me for always going to Mother's side. But it seems she is the only one that is kind and understanding these days. _**Age 14.

.

**_Thor was praised today for being the best at archery, sparring, dagger stabbing, and fencing. I know he will be a good warrior- but perhaps not a King. He never studies like I do._**

**_But it seems Odin has picked him his favorite. But I continue to excel in greater things ( my opinion )._**

Age 17.

.

**_I do not like going outside to join my brother and his friends much anymore. It is too troublesome and hardening on me. _**Age 18.

.

**_My magic is at its peak. I have profected every spell and curse I know. I might show Mother soon, but it appears that she is coming to not like my magic and trickery like father. _**Age 18.

.

As Fandral read on, he began looking at Loki more and more. He could see the deterioration of Loki's good soul turned into lies and schemes. Magic was his only friend. Un-wanted and un-favorite by his father, Loki turned to nothing but darkness in the end.

Fandral remembered when Thor came, after Loki's fall into the Bitfrost, and told all of them of his true nature. He was a Jotun.

Closing a book and note, his blue eyes widened.

That information was the thing that triggered such madness in the trickster god.

And that information led him to his downfall and torture from Thanos.

Going over to Loki, Fandral immediately held the gods hand. Looking at how broken he was and how weak- his messed up mind collapsing onto itself.

It wasn't Loki's choice to be evil and a traitor to his land… it was their own fault.

_They had created this Broken Monster._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

Thor had promised that he would return, but alas, Asgard would not let him. Fandral was left to care and nurture the god back to health. Both mentally and physically.

The fever had gone down since Thor was gone and Loki becoming more aware of his surroundings.

"Loki, do you wish for warm bread and butter to be brought up tonight?"

Loki shook his head, now sitting up and slowly sipping on water.

"Fruit then?"

Loki shook his head.

"Milk?"

No.

"Then what, Prince? You must eat to regain your strength."

"I am not hungry at the moment, Fandral." Loki shot up, glaring at the playboy who was helping him for whatever reason. "Please do not ask any more questions!"

Huffing and slouching back, Loki ignored Fandral's shocked face.

"I am only trying to help." Fandral stated, annoyed at the un-grateful brat that lay before him. Loki was acting like he was on the woman's curse or something.

Loki looked up, "And I do not need help. Servants tend to my needs. You may go if you want."

_He's trying to avoid it. Avoid people. _Fandral thought after a moment.

"But this is my choice to help you, Loki. Like it or not, you are stuck with the best archer of Asgard."

"Has Thor set you up to this? Is he paying you?"

"No." Fandral raised an eyebrow, sitting down next to the window. "It is all me. My choice."

"What do you want from me then." Loki's strong and bratty voice weakened.

"I want nothing from you, Loki. Now. Would you like food or-"

"Do you wish to lay with me?"

Fandral nearly spat out his own juice at the thought and question.

"Wh-What!?" He yelled, standing and going over to Loki. By the look in his green eyes, the god was serious. "No!"

Loki immediately turned in on himself, looking away in shame.

…. "Where did that come from, my prince?"

"Nowhere and nothing. I was just curious."

"You know I only lay with women."

"But rumors say you go for pretty young boys sometimes- when drunk. Tis true, is it not?"

"Loki-"

"It was just a question." Loki snapped, laying down in his bed and turning away from Fandral completely.

….

"No. It was not just a question."

_Something was up._

"Look at me, Loki!"

This stubborn prince would not budge. He had almost revealed a dark secret on himself and a lingering dark desire. Closing his red and green eyes, silent tears flowed from him.

"Loki…" Fandral moved close, sitting on the bedside and knowing the god was now crying. But for what?

"Please leave." Loki asked, clinging to the pillow and secretly pretending it was something else.

"I cannot."

"Leave."

"I will not, Loki."

Loki jerked his head towards Fandral, eyes red. His look expressed such sorrow and pain within. Leaping to Fandral and bringing him down upon him- Loki forcefully locked tongues with the archer's. Fandral gasped and tried to wiggle away, only to be held down by shaking strong arms.

"Loki-" He muffled, struggling but not succeeding.

Where was the god getting all this energy and strength!?

"Loki!" He tried again. Not wanting to hit the desperate and needy trickster bellow him. "Loki!"

More kissing and whimpering bellow.

"LOKI!" Finally, the archer slapped Loki across the face, scrambling out of his bed and standing, gathering himself (trying to). Once up and fully standing, he saw Loki break down fully. Screaming and pulling on his sheets, cursing in a language he did not hear ever in his life.

…

By the Allfather- what had just happened!?


	21. Heimdall will end this

**A special thank you for your wake up call ****_Mandarino _****she pointed out something I have yet to take care of! Thus- This chapter will hopefully take away an confusion, as for Frigga and some will truly find out what has happened to Loki before and now. **

**As I said before, we're getting near the end! this will be the 2nd to last chapter. Thus, the coming chapter will be pretty long.**

**sorry for confusion and more, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! reviews always loved.**

* * *

**.**

**.**

**.**

Confused and frightened, Fandral had left Loki's room to franticly search for bitter wine- as maybe some alcohol would wake his senses. Wobbling pass Hogun, the grim man was giving him a confused look. Fandral was blushing and obviously running away from something- but what? A woman?

Aha- nice joke but Fandral could never run away from a pretty face. Female or … other.

Thinking it was nothing, the silent warrior continued his stroll to his room. He kept on walking, shaking the odd sight off only to find another (well, not so _odd_ these days, but still troublesome to many).

It was Loki, in his bed, ripping the sheets off and cursing in foreign tongue that no one on Asgard probably heard before. The man looked wild and possessed, screaming at some points, and was too far gone to now notice a worried crowd growing beside his room. Hogun noticed the servants and maids gathering to see- and ordered one girl to go get the AllMother.

Thor couldn't be worried more, not now. The man had to lead a great world. A mother also just seemed better to fit the situation.

Loki continued with his super tantrum, now throwing books around, papers, everything he could get his hands on. Furious tears ran down his face as he broke a glass vase, spilling the mums and water all over along with the sharp shards. Frigga was running down the hall, only to be stopped by Hogun and signaled to just listen.

It broke her heart.

To see her once proud son making a mess of himself more and more each day. Something wasn't right. Something was still eating at her beloved. But what?

Perhaps the gate keeper had the answer.

None of them went to him in all this time, not wanting to step on Loki's privacy as a Prince and break his trust. But it was clear some intervention was in order.

After the mother calmed down her child, of course.

.

Moving into the room, Loki saw and instantly dropped to his knees, looking weak and like he was in trouble. He whimpered, rubbing his face and shielding himself from Hogun's clear stare and the others. Frigga gently closed the door to them, nodding that everything would be alright.

"My son," She began, turning around, kneeling, and speaking with a soft but stern voice. "My son… what had plagued you today? What has caused this breakdown?"

Loki shook his head franticly. Which obviously signaled something big had happened to bring this down.

"A nightmare? A fight with your brother?... please, Loki," She reaches her arm out, Loki instantly going to her to be held. "Please… you worry me so. I want to find out."

Loki sniffled, burying his sweat, cold face into her neck. She felt so warm…

"Mother," He began, "I-I can't…"

"Can't what?"

"Y-You… You'll be so mad." He sobbed louder, clinging on for dear life as Frigga began to pet his head and place a good hand on his neck.

"I can hardly see why I would be mad at someone who has hurt my son." She stated proudly, now whispering sweet nothings in his ear. It was clear that he wouldn't say much with all this crying and making himself sick.

"Do you want water? A warm glass of cider?"

Loki paused, thinking about how something warm would comfort him greatly… but shook his head.

"I-I made a mess, mother." Loki states, turning his head to look at his once organized room. Now a pile of trash and ashes- shards of glass everywhere.

"I know. But this mess can easily be cleaned, not to worry." She kisses his forehead. "Loki, the real mess I want to clean is your head."

The god stiffens, and then hides in her neck again.

Frigga talks no more, just sitting and rocking her youngest son.

.

.

Hogun now goes back to Fandral's fleeing way, having a great suspicion that the archer had something to do with this heap of sorrow (or perhaps he knew something?). He meets Volstagg on the way, which comes to him immediately out of the dining hall.

"You will not believe what Fandral had said!"

Oh, Hogun could believe anything at this point.

Putting a finger to his mouth, Hogun the Grimm moves them into a tight spot of the hallway near the dining entrance, folding his arms to listen.

Volstagg instantly begins, "Fandral came in, claiming that if there wasn't wine he was going to throw himself out the window! Well- Of course there was wine. And so he just started drinking. I asked him what was wrong and he said that it was Loki."

Hogun nodded.

"He said nothing else to me- until he almost collapsed to the floor and claimed that the Prince tried to throw himself upon him!"

Hogun blushed and eyes widened a bit at the thought.

"I asked if the claim was true, and he said yes." Volstagg stroked his beard nervously. "Do you think it's true…?"

"Loki was quite upset on himself when I was walking down the hall." Hogun said. "Breaking things over and over again. I had to call the Allmother."

Volstagg shifted, nodding. "I am tempted to ask Heimdall. But perhaps this is not an affair I should get into…" He looked to the ground then the nearest window. "But I have never seen the great playboy so flustered. It un-eased me."

Hogun nodding, claiming that he was agreeing with the glutton. "Perhaps we should ask. But keep it quiet, whatever the gatekeeper tells us."

Gods. They were like little girls wanting to find out the biggest gossip secret ever.

"I swear that I will tell no one what he shall tell us."

Both agreed to do it tonight.

.

.

* * *

.

.

.

Loki had been moved to his Mother's bed chambers, sleeping soundly in her overly quilted and fluffy bed, some incense burning alongside him to keep his dreams nice and quiet. The Allmother watched with glowing, sad eyes. Never had she seen her son fall so low before… not even when he came from earth, bruised and battered with shame on his name.

"Mother, will he be well?"

"I will not let him out of my sight tonight and tomorrow." She claims to Thor, who watches with eyes just like hers.

"I find it very difficult to concentrate on those old baboons mouths when I know my family is torn."

"How do you think your father was when I was pregnant with you?" She notes, watching as Thor blushed then gave a weak smile. "He was always asking for me, asking how I was, saying he'd visit. But his work got the better of him."

Thor nods. "I know it is my duty,"

"You would make your father proud."

The golden son smiles more, but then in the back of his mind, thinks for his brother again. Not yet had the trickster done _anything _to please his adoptive father…

"Mother?"

"Yes, my son?"

Loki shifted, delaying the question for a while as tired eyes woke, only to close up again.

Thor watches, and then speaks in a very quiet whisper. "Why had you admit to him he was adopted when young?"

Of all the questions- this one Frigga knew would come. "We… thought it best to keep him away from his past."

"Why."

"Because not everyone likes to be told that they were left by their family because of a simple thing of size. It would pain us to see his little face learn he was not of the family." Her eyes wavered away from the sleeping trickster, going down. She felt a lot of shame for this. "But clearly we should have. It is my greatest regret in life."

_Perhaps they could have prevented such a case.._

.

Thor had gone back to his room, knowing Sif would be waiting for him to comfort and please. Frigga led him to the door and promised Loki would be in good care as her golden son strides down the hall.

Next, prancing nervously to Loki, she puts on more intense incense, making sure his dreams were nice and he would stay asleep during her travel to Heimdall.

Outside, she notes to a trustworthy old maid hat Loki is to be checked on once, and if awake, be given some warm milk and a book. But she doubted he'd wake.

Now, she continued on to the gatekeeper, freaking herself out with all the possibilities that Loki had in him. What had plagued him so, before and now.

Outside his rather chilly, and does no good for her worrying self.

….

"My Queen." Heimdall greets, looking to her with burning amber eyes of wisdom and knowing.

"Greetings, I bring you some sugared golden apples." She smiles, giving a basket of 3 to him.

"You are too generous." He simply says, taking the basket and gently setting it beside his foot. "But I am afraid not the sweetest of treats can dote me off for what news you have come for…"

"I know." She admits, not being afraid to sit down already. She knows the news will break her heart.

"I shall put it in the simplest and most caring way possible. Before and Now." Heimdall states, sighing as he wavers his all seeing eye to remember and tell the once Queen on what happened to her son.

Frigga prepares herself, and wishes Odin was here to hear it with her.

Little does _she_ know that two warriors lag behind, listening intently as Heimdall begins to explain.

She was not alone in hearing the grim past and fate of Loki Odinson.

And by the end of it, the three would be weeping like babies.

* * *

**Yep**


	22. Give him a minute there

**And here is the final chapter.**

**Some of you may like it- and some of you may not. I apologize either way.**

**I decided to make this chapter a bit of a poetic ending to the whole ending. I do like it, myself so...**

**I hope most of you enjoy!**

**and thankyou for supporting me in this fic. I love you all.**

* * *

Some say it takes a village to raise a child.

In this case, it took a Kingdom to raise two young princes, _both _destined to be kings. Both knowing they were royalty and equal by brotherhood.

But it was all a lie.

And the Kingdom had failed the youngest, not giving a second glance.

A Father's attention could only go so far for a son who was just different in his skills, and with that a Mother's pride and love could only be so much for the child. A brother, too distracted by pride and ignorance, paid his dues to the younger with less and less care. 'Friends' of his paid no heed to his whimpers when bullying him. Growing up, he was faced with evil glances, both jealousy and pity. And then, falling into the abyss of freedom, Loki is not yet to be at peace.

A mad Titan takes him in, promising everything. Everything glorious and that the god has craved. Telling him the opposite of what everyone had said.

_'Only weak witches have Magic.'_

_'It's not fair for him to use it in battle'_

_'Why is he not like a warrior? Why is he not Thor?'_

Thor. Thor. Thor.

The golden sun that was his brother shined out the weak star.

All of this, still, was kept hidden by an intense urge to please and be noticed.

Maybe if Loki just proved something to Odin and the Kingdom, he'd be great. So both shinning sons will rule together as one.

But that just wasn't going to happen, was it.

_A dirty secret was to be revealed. One that should've been the truth from the start._

_'Maybe we could've prevented this'_

Or maybe it was just this sorry life. Maybe this was fate, or Loki to end up broken and alone in the end. To throw his body onto many men, wishing for someone to notice. For someone to care. For someone to see.

Fandral seemed logical, right?

He was being so nice and caring for Loki.

So nice.

He was also a strong archer, just like Barton. Exactly like Barton.

So… why had he run away?

_Why._

So the Allmother wept for her son, crying and wailing before the gatekeeper even concluded the story. It was everyone's fault. How could they be so blind. So stupid. So arrogant.

No wonder Loki wanted once to bring down Asgard. To curse his brother into hell fire. To bring down Odin who had lied to him all these years.

The Queen, in all her hysteria, picked up her dress and ran. She needed to hold her son.

_But like that was going to fix anything._

A mother's touch cold only do so much for the past.

Now the two soldiers were just in shock, watching and hearing the goddess weep, some silent tears falling down Volstagg's face. Hogun just stared down to the grass, but was upset. Everyone was upset.

These two warriors, just as guilty and blind like everyone else.

They were the monsters who needed to be punished. They were the ones who needed to burn and become broken. But no. The universe apparently was sadistic.

How could they have not seen!?

How….

…how…..

And then damn them all. Damn everyone here who laughs and plays like a god. Who is free from care and pity. Who are free from a sickness that will never go away.

.

_Damn all those people Who don't lose control. Who will never take a foot out of life._

_They might not think that we care but they do not know what he knows._

_You might think that I care but you do not know what I know._

_And bless all those mothers who do all they can._

_Just to take their faults out of their line._

_He might not know what is life but he's glad that you know._

_Give him a minute there, just a minute now._

_It'll come back to him._

_How can you know how can you know what it is that he knows._

_We are children no more._

_Give him a minute there, just a minute now._

_It'll come back to him._

_He was so sure, you took his mind of the traitor_

_You know what he knows. _

.

.

.

.

.

_You came here to tell him something he already knows._

_Dark before the dawn is the darkest He can go._

_Calm before the storm is what leads him here to breathe._

_So breathe._

_Mother, breathe._

_._

But Frigga couldn't as her son watched her weep, watched her make a mess of herself. He was watching with a blank face, tired but awake to see his mother become an infant again. Weak and unknowing. It did not suit her.

"My son!" She wailed, ignoring the calls of a concerned group of maids behind her door. "My son I am so sorry! I am sorry for all the crimes this dreadful land has committed. Please-" She grips his thin pale hand, "Please… you should not forgive us… but I cannot change the past. I wish I could."

A cry.

"But forgive us one day. My son, oh, my son!"

Loki watched her repeat this notion in many, many ways. Saying sorry over and over again, pleading for something he had already done. He smiled sadly, silent tears streaming down his face freely.

"Mother…" He sighed, pulling her into an embrace they have not had in a long time. It was something more than a close hug. Something that a mother and son only share. But this time, it was opposite.

The son was comforting the mother.

"My son," She went on and on.

"Mother," His voice cracked. She understood. Someone finally understood. Someone finally heard his story. Finally.

And maybe now they'd understand this tragic tale. Maybe they could help? Maybe.

But atleast someone finally listened. Even if the Silvertongue did not say it himself. His story.

Someone finally heard it.

_Finally…._

_….._

_._

_._

_Where does his lover lie?_

_I don't love I just lied._

_Pray. Pray for him. This lost god._

_And where they run he runs in toll. Time will only tell._

_And where your from he longs to know._

_A sick story had come about. _

_One that a child should never know._

_Where a mother weakness goes. Where, Where trouble goes._

_Well he will speak, and it shall be so._

_And what he will say will all be what she knows._

_There was a time of hell._

_He had lost his mind._

_And the devil had put his mark on Loki._

_And calls his branches to shark your trees._

_That's not me, that's the devil and his lying. Trying to make me loose my mind._

_So pray. Pray for me._

* * *

_._

_._

_. _

Two winters had past and Loki was now looking about on his given balcony, looking to Thor's kingdom and all it's glory. His hair was much longer, pulled into a loose braid in the back and with golden accessories. He wore such an emerald color, black designs of trees and Celtic looking designs on it. His fingers covered in certain rings. Royal rings.

The Prince had finally become someone in this land, hadn't he.

An official hand-man for Thor.

An official advisor and magic handler in the court. One that wasn't a woman (for once).

He was someone important.

It took many months, much therapy, and once visit to Misgard to get Loki back on his feet. It was a long story to tell, indeed. But the trickster had done it. He had become someone.

He was given a life.

He remembered when he met Barton once more, and the man was married to a woman of SHEILD. Loki felt no scorn for the man. What they shared was a teenager memory. A simple fuck session, was it not? Influenced by a bad devil.

He cared not for the man now.

"My Prince, Thor awaits for company on his steed. He grows a bit impatient." A voice came behind him. Fandral, with all his charm and glory. Smiling as usual.

Loki turned to him and nodded, smiling at the comment to Thor.

There were some things that the reckless warrior could not change about himself. Impatience was the best of them.

"I will follow."

Bowing to his superior, Fandral left.

And so Loki was alone, thinking about whatever happened to him those 2 years ago. How far he had come. How his Mother almost wept everynight and came running to him. How he wept with her. How Thor had found out and roared to the heavens, causing a storm to rage for days on Asgard. How Thor's friends became angels, tending to Loki's needs.

Some would say they changed for the better, the lot of them. More aware than ever.

But Loki just simply shook his head and smiled at the memories.

It was a scary and pitiful sight.

But he had done it. And that's what all that mattered now.

He was a new person. Not that bitter and spiteful creature, taken over to easily by people.

No. He was the influencer now.

And yes, he still played tricks for the fun of it.

….

Looking up to the sky with freed eyes, he watched some birds fly away into the many moons.

He wondered where Odin lied in his resting, where he had gone.

After all, this was once heaven to human myth.

So where did gods go when they died?

.

.

So… what was he doing in that new land he called home? Did that land even exist? What would his father think of him after all of this?

Where was Odin smiling. Thor, or Loki.

And who was he proud of most of all.

.

.

.

* * *

The end


End file.
